Sengal Ubi | the Alter Ego

Dari Kuala Lumpur ke Manchester

2012-02-12T21:26:00.004+08:00

Lama saya merenung monitor komputer riba untuk mengarang ayat yang saya rasakan terbaik. Saya akhirnya sedar bait kata-kata yang terbaik datang daripada hati yang ikhlas menulis, maka ternukil kata-kata ikhlas dari hati buta saya.

Mak tak belajar hingga ke universiti, hanya memiliki Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia tahun 1980an dengan kelayakan yang cukup beserta dengan sijil menaip (tak silap saya) untuk memulakan kerjaya sebagai kerani di ibu kota. Mak berhijrah tika itu dari Kota Bharu ke Kuala Lumpur, saya kira kali pertama Mak berjauhan dari keluarga. Tak pernah saya tanya perit getir Mak waktu itu memulakan cabaran hidup di tempat menjadi lubuk emas kepada kebanyakkan perantau seperti Mak. Tak pernah saya tanya gajinya berapa, belanjanya bagaimana. Melihat ekonomi negara waktu itu yang tak semewah sekarang, pasti banyak cabaran yang terpaksa Mak tempuh tinggal di tempat orang.

Mak orangnya berahsia. Jarang saya dengar Mak meluahkan perasaan kepada orang. Mak bijak menyimpan rahsia dan bermain kata-kata. Pernah dulu saya selongkar diari lama Mak, bertalu kata-kata indah terukir dalam nota ringkas nukilan Mak. Irama yang indah dari bait kata-kata yang ditulis dengan tulisan berungkai cantik Mak masih tergambar di mata. Tiap kali usai ujian Bahasa Melayu ketika sekolah rendah, Mak yang akan saya serahkan kertas ujian untuk disemak. Mak tahu berbahasa dan mengajarkan kami adik-beradik berbahasa. Mak juga mahir berbahasa Inggeris walaupun Mak tak dibesarkan untuk betah dengan bahasa itu. Satu lagi cabaran Mak yang tak pernah saya tanya.

Kebanyakkan yang bertandang ke rumah tak mungkin lupa keenakan air tangan Mak. Wanita ini cukup arif memasak. Koleksi resepi yang tersemat di bawah kulit kepalanya begitu banyak. Namun sayang, saya sendiri tak pernah menghargai bakat Mak yang satu itu. Air tangan Mak yang saya tak mungkin lupa daging goreng yang pasti dihidang bersama nasi panas, belacan dan ulam-ulaman. Saya cukup rindu pada hidangan yang satu itu, dan hingga hari ini saya masih tak dapat meniru masakan Mak. Masakan saya dan Mak, ibarat langit dan bumi, jauh panggang dari api.

Kekuatan Mak tiada tandingan. Melahirkan tujuh zuriat, menguruskan rumah tangga dan hal ehwal dalaman rumah, saya sering musykil dari mana Mak mendapatkan tenaga untuk menguruskan kesemua hal dalam satu hari sedangkan saya tak pernah mempunyai waktu yang cukup untuk melaksanakan banyak hal. Kesabaran Mak melayani kerenah 7 lelaki di rumah adalah satu perkara yang saya ambil begitu mudah. Tak pernah saya bayangkan kompleksiti Mak terpaksa harungi setiap hari dalam kehidupannya, sewaktu awal bergelar isteri dan ibu. Kecekalan Mak mengharungi pahit maung hidup, berdepan dengan onak ranjau yang datang dari segenap sudut, tak pernah saya hargai. Malah, Mak diklasifikasi dengan pelbagai cacian dan maki hamun oleh orang-orang yang dekat dengan kami. Namun, Mak kekal berdiri meneruskan tanggungjawab meski untuk seorang wanita, hati Mak pasti lumat mendengar caci maki orang.

Terlalu banyak pengorbanan Mak kepada saya. Hingga saat saya berlepas ke UK, Mak masih berkorban untuk saya. Perjalanan ke KLIA, saya tahan air yang bergenang di kelopak mata. Tangan saya memegang tangan Mak erat. Saya fikir mana mungkin saya membalas jasa wanita yang satu ini. Terlalu banyak hutang saya padanya. Saat susah dibebani pelbagai kusut hati, Mak masih tersenyum dan yakin ada jalan penyelesaian untuk tiap masalah yang menyusuri. Itulah Mak. Buruk mana tanggapan orang pada Mak, tak pernah yang tahu rasa yang Mak pendam, derita yang Mak simpan, sengsara yang Mak pegang. Mak tak mahu beritahu orang. Orang lupa mulia hati Mak. Orang lupa luhur budi Mak. Pada orang, Mak bagaikan beban. Pada saya, Mak adalah nyawa, punca energi saya. Pada Mak, tersimpan kekuatan saya.

Sekeping ijazah hanyalah bukti kelulusan akademik namun berharga buat saya, kerana itulah saja hadiah saya pada Mak. Atas setiap apa yang telah Mak korbankan untuk saya. Untuk segala apa yang Mak curahkan pada saya, itulah yang dapat saya balas. Saya bangga dengan Mak, walau tak pernah Mak jejak menara gading, Mak mampu besarkan anak-anak hingga ke universiti. Sayang saya tak dapat sarungkan Mak jubah berwarna turquoise bersama mortar board di majlis konvokesyen. Namun satu hari nanti akan saya pakaikan mak jubah dan mortar board, tanda graduasi Mak membesarkan anak-anak hingga berjaya.

Tahniah dan terima kasih Mak.

Mencari Kasih Sayang Tuhan

2012-01-07T22:02:00.011+08:00

Berfirman Tuhan kepada manusia

8 baris ayat meruntuh jiwa.

Kosong hati kala lewat malam berjaga

masih mencari pengisi menutup lara.

Apa jua masih belum bertemu angkara

Helai² kertas bersih tiada tulis apa.

Aku mencari makna firman Tuhan kepada manusia

tentang 8 baris ayat meruntuh jiwa.

Layar telefon pintar diselak ke bawah

menyentuh aplikasi iKitab mencari jawapan fikiran serakah.

Namun bisik hati kecil amarah

"Ahhhhhh! Untuk apa mencari makna firman Tuhan

Biar saja menanti jawapan ilmuan."

Kembali menyambung lelah di malam kosong

Seperti malam sebelumnya, hati buta itu diusung.

Benak akal yang dahagakan logik akal

Pada ilmu dunia yang senantiasa disangkal.

Jauh dalam jasad masih meronta

Mahu tahu pada kekosongan yang nyata.

iKitab Tuhan itu dibuka kembali

mencari makna dalam firman yang hakiki.

Nyata, Tuhan itu Maha Mengetahui

Bait² ayat paling indah terencana dalam kitab paling suci.

When the earth is shaken with her (violent) shaking.

And the earth brings forth her burdens.

And man says: What has befallen her?

On the day she shall tell her news.

Because your Lord had inspired her.

On that day men shall come forth in sundry bodies that they may be shown their works.

So he who has done an atom's weight of good shall see it.

And he who has done an atom's weight of evil shall see it.

(Al-Zalzala, verse 1-8)

Berfirman Tuhan kepada manusia

8 baris ayat meruntuh jiwa.

Memberkas jasad seorang hamba

Kosong hati tatkala di lewat malam berjaga

Mahu kembali pada yang mencipta.

Aku menulis kerana mencari kasih sayang Tuhan.

Manchester, 7 Januari 2012, 0622.

Balasan Kompilasi

2010-09-20T20:57:00.002+08:00

Kau gila
tanpa berita dari aku.

Kau kata
cinta itu
tentang ketawa
dan air mata.

Kau sedih
bila aku sedih.

Kau akan terus tunggu
aku hadir
bila orang kata
kau bodoh dan sempit.

Sepi dan sendiri
kau benci.

Kau semalam
bahagia bersama aku.
Tapi aku pergi
hari kau kembali hujan.

Kau pari-pari kecil
akhirnya hilang sayap.
Kau jatuh ke bumi
rebah.

Kau
terhimpit
tersesak
terseksa
kerana rindu.

Kau perlukan aku
dalam hidup kamu.
Dan aku buta
akan itu.

Aku hanyalah binatang buas
mainkan hati dan perasaan kau.
Kerana mengalpai kau
bodohnya aku.

Aku tulis membalas kompilasi entri-entri lama Diliana.
Sengal Ubi, 20 September 2010.

Balasan: Pari-Pari Kecil

2010-09-10T11:32:00.002+08:00

Terdengar suara membentak
Menidakkan perasaan di hati
Terdorong kakiku melangkah ke hadapan
Mengintai suara itu.

Terlihat olehku
Dia yang berwajahkan Adam
Suaranya besar
Hatinya batu
Sayang, nalurinya tak mampu dilentur lagi.

Satu suara lembut kedengaran
Dia yang juga berwajahkan Adam
Namun cahayanya berbeza
Terang dan tenang
Tersenyum walau dalam gundah.

Dia kuperhatikan
Berbezakah dia dengan Adam pertama
Mungkinkah segalanya sekadar lakonan
Mengumpan hati Hawaku.

Aku, Si Pari-pari kecil yang kehilangan sayap
Masih mahu terbang
Walau mungkin tidak tinggi
Akan kugagahi sayap yang satu.

Persetankan suara yang mengganggu
Telah ku lontar jauh suara garau itu
Andai ada suara yang menyapa
Yang mampu menerbitkan rasa tenang di jiwa
Tanganku terbuka luas menyambutnya
Namun, tak sekali curiga itu kutinggalkan.

Bukan aku tulis tapi Diliana tulis, 9 September 2010.
Selamat Hari Raya.

Pari-Pari Kecil

2010-09-08T13:23:00.004+08:00

Pari-pari kecil itu
menangis lagi.

Bisik hati kecilnya
celaka, dunia ini.
Antara dua sayapnya
satu sudah tiada.
Diberi pada sang bulan
berhati syaitan
berperi binatang.

Sangkanya mahu menjadi
semulia Adam
memberi rusuk kiri pada Hawa.
Mungkin sayap yang satu
boleh menyatu
pari-pari kecil itu
dan sang bulan.

Oh, pari-pari kecil itu
terbodoh juga oleh cinta.

Pari-pari kecil itu
Tidak terbang lagi.
Berjalan ia atas bumi
dengan satu sayap di tubuh
menanti Tuhan
untuk memberi sayap satu lagi.

Mungkin pari-pari kecil itu
kekal sedemikian.
Mungkin pari-pari kecil itu
terus berjalan
tanpa sayap yang satu lagi.

Sang bulan terbang meninggi
Dan pari-pari kecil itu
tersadai di bumi.
Memerhati ia pada sang bulan.

Suatu penyesalan
yang amat dasyat
pari-pari kecil itu
merasai.

Pari-pari kecil itu
menangis lagi.

Aku tulis membalas entri Diliana "Si Pari-Pari Kecil", 8 September 2010.

Balasan: Komplikasi

2010-09-08T13:05:00.005+08:00

Kau hadiahkan pelangi
bila aku rasa
ingin pergi dari kamu.

Sungguh.

Aku tak tahu
apa patut kubicara.

Kalau kau tak suka aku
kenapa berlari ke arahku?

Itu soalku.
Dengan tanda tanya.

Celakanya!

Komplikasi ini menyesakkan.

Bukan aku tulis tapi Diliana tulis, 7 September 2010.

Komplikasi

2010-09-04T21:35:00.007+08:00

Kau bunuh jiwa
bila aku rasa
aku suka kamu.

Sumpah.

Aku tak tahu
apa mahu rasa.

Kalau aku suka pada kau
apa kau ada rasa pada aku?

Soalan sampah.
Titik noktah.

Damn!

Emosi ini komplikasi bukan?

Aku tulis kerana ini bukan cerita aku, 4 September 2010.

By the way, aku seorang yang mentally retarded. Boleh lihat bukti di bawah.

Raya Wish 2010

2010-09-03T04:18:00.004+08:00

Take 1

Take 2

White Flag

2010-09-03T03:59:00.006+08:00

Take 1

Take 2

Take 3

Pembunuh Bisu

2010-09-01T11:06:00.002+08:00

Kau bunuh aku,
dalam diam.

Aku mencari
erti kewujudan kau
dan aku buntu.

Apa kau datang
Sebagai suatu mimpi
atau kau hadir
di luar benak
khayalan aku.

Sumpah,
aku buntu.

Hiruk pikuk mimpi,
aku terjaga
tapi kau tiada
lalu aku tidur semula.

Dan kau
berdiri di depan
dua tangan kau
terikat belakang.
Sebelati pisau
Kau gertap di bibir.
Kau bersedia
membunuh aku.

Aku lihat
kau senyum.
Sumpah kau cantik.

Kau lontar belati pisau
mengena tepat jantung aku.
Darah merah tepercik keluar
dari lubang yang mengena.
Aku tidak buat apa-apa.

Untuk segala dosa
aku lakukan
sewaktu cinta
kita ratah bersama.
Aku rela.

Hingga terpacul darah terakhir
kau tidak berkata apa.
Kau memaling aku dan pergi
aku tinggal sendiri.

Kau bunuh aku,
dalam diam.

Aku tulis kerana terjaga, 1 September 2010

Pari-Pari Kain Lace Putih

2010-08-30T04:07:00.001+08:00

Dalam mimpi aku
Kau muncul lagi
Pari-pari kain lace putih
Kau tak berkata
Dan kau senyum
Gertakan mengena hati kristal
Yang tersadai di tengah
Jasad aku.

Pari-pari kain lace putih
Apa datang kau membawa maksud
Atau kau hanya mimpi
Yang datang dan pergi
Atau kau pari-pari kain lace putih
Datang untuk menemani aku
Menebas semak mimpi
Menjadikan mimpi aku
Indah dari kebiasaan.

Jika kau datang untuk pergi
Pari-pari kain lace putih
Izinkan DSLR aku merakam wajahmu
Agar dapat aku book mark namamu
Di dalam mimpi aku.

Dan aku harap
Kau datang lagi dalam mimpi aku
Pari-pari kain lace putih.

Aku tulis kerana masuk air, 30 Ogos 2010

Si Picisan

2010-08-29T22:28:00.003+08:00

Kalau cinta datang sekali seumur hidup,
kau akan hadir untuk aku?

Kalau cinta itu sempurna sedang aku tidak,
kau akan terima aku?

Kalau cinta itu semuanya indah,
kau akan terima yang buruk dari aku?

Kalau cinta itu selamanya,
kau rela aku pergi dulu?

Kalau cinta itu terlalu bahagia,
kau sanggup derita bersama aku?

Kalau cinta itu buta,
kau akan celik dengan diri aku?

Kalau cinta sudah tidak ada,
kau akan terus ada untuk aku?

Atau kau akan pergi,
meninggalkan aku.

Akhirnya aku sedar,
aku hanya si picisan cinta,
yang tidak punya apa-apa.

Kau pulanglah kepada aku.
Sumpah.
Aku mahu kamu.

Aku tulis kerana terilham oleh ini.

Only If

2010-08-28T02:55:00.004+08:00

If I were your man
I'll make you fell worth.

I'll listen to you
I'll make you feel loved.

I'll tender you
I'll make you feel blessed.

I'll always be there for you
I'll make you feel heard.

I'll love you everyday
I'll make you feel secured.

I'll cherish you
For being my woman
Only if I were your man.

Fasting

2010-08-13T18:20:00.003+08:00

"I'm really thirsty. Can I have something to drink?"

"Just in a while. A few more hours before break fast. Hold on a bit."

"But I'm really thirsty. I don't think I can hold any longer."

"You've passed half the day. It would be a waste if you break fast now."

"Please, I'm really thirsty!"

"Tell you what, if you manage to fast the whole day, I'll make you your favourite drink."

"You promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

"Then what should I do now?"

"Why don't you just lay down and rest? It might cool down your thirst."

"Okay."

6 hours after that, my mother fulfilled her promise. She made me my favourite drink for break fast. A glass of iced Milo. I finished it with just a shot. It paid off my thirst.

I was six, and my parents were training me fasting. As a Muslim, it is one of the Islam pillars to fast in the month of Ramadhan. All Muslims are required to fast throughout the month for some significant symbol of something. I didn't knew it back then.

I used to be very tired when I first fast. I had to go to school, do house chores and play with my friends. All those activities required energy. And I can't get the energy I needed during the fasting month. There would be no food or drinks in the refrigerator. I only found those during break fast time, which was during sunset.

I was naughty when I was young. I always break fast at afternoon without my parents knowledge and pretended I fasted the whole day. I did this tricks quite frequent with my friends and we did it a lot. My parents didn't realized this habit until I was in Standard 4, where my Chinese neighbour saw me eating with my friends at our hang-out spot in the afternoon. It was during fasting month.

"I saw your son eating with his friends just now."

"Did he?"

"No I didn't! It wasn't me. I swear!"

"Then who else would it be?"

"It was my friends. i just accompanied them. I didn't eat. I swear!"

I was sinful for lying to my parents. And the worst part was I lied to them about my fast. Then my neighbour said something that I still remember until today.

"We Chinese think that Malays are very strong because they can fast the whole day for a month. Even I cannot stand hunger for more than 3 hours. You need to be strong like your parents. You need to fast. I think you are strong. Don't do any stupid works anymore. Go fast."

Years have passed and here I am now, fulfilling my duty as a Muslim, fasting for a month.

Fasting signify our understanding of poverty and their starvation. It also taught us to be moderate with what we have and be generous towards those who are unfortunate. Fasting is not a torture to Muslims as claimed by many.

I hope that I could be a better Muslim this year. May my fast is accepted by God.

There is a way to be good again.

Sarcastic

2010-08-10T01:29:00.005+08:00

Last Sunday while I was travelling back from Kuala Lumpur to Kuantan, I was asked by a girl who sat in front of my seat the following question.

"Awak UMP eh (Are you from UMP)?"

Then I answered.

"Tak. UIAM (No. IIU)."

My friend and I laughed. I think the girl was irritated and annoyed by me. But I had fun making fun of her. No offense.

Hell, I'm a real sarcastic.

Serious Person For A Serious Project

2010-07-22T18:08:00.001+08:00

I am looking for potential candidate for a serious social-venture project. Must be an undergraduate student from any higher learning institutions, have high proficiency in English, innovative, creative, able to write paperwork and able to work under pressure and work excellently with less supervision. Interested? PM me now.

The Girl In The Green Blouse

2010-07-21T10:30:00.004+08:00

For the first time in my life, I chased after a girl. This time it was for real.

But I didn't succeed though.

I was sitting on a bench, having pieces of bread and a cup of white coffee for breakfast when she came.

The girl in the green blouse. God, I swear she looked fantastic. With scarf covering her head, it made her looked sweet. And a smiley curve on her face, made her even sweeter.

My heart melted for this one.

She came towards me, and my heart started pounding.

"Hi... You know where is LT7A?", she asked.

I never heard of LT7A, never came across one. I know where the other LTs are (LT stands for Lecture Theater) but I seriously have no idea where LT7A is.

"Er... LT7A?", I answered back.

"Yeah... It's at EA.", she added.

It sounded like E8. I heard it wrongly. I seriously did. I know there are only 5Es and 1EA (E indicates the block name) but I've never heard of such name.

"It's okay if you don't know."

"Er... I'm really sorry."

"It's okay. Don't be. Thanks anyway."

"Sure."

When she was walking down the stair and heading to God knows where, I wanted to stop her and ask her on the block name again. I thought the least I can do is accompany her to find the location and bring her there.

But I didn't do it. I stood up, and I sat back. I did nothing. How foolish I was.

And I regretted it anyway. So when I was done with my breakfast, I rushed to FOE (Faculty of Engineering) lobby and hoping she would be wondering somewhere. And I was praying I would bump into her.

But it didn't happened anyway.

Then I looked around the lobby and I saw LT7A signage. God, I knew it was there. I actually know the direction. Why didn't I guide her in the first place.

There is a career seminar in LT7A and I think she will be attending it, that was why she asked me for the direction.

And now, I plan on waiting in front of LT7A, hoping that she would come out and spot me, and say my apology for not doing anything.

And maybe I can ask for her number too.

But what if she already in a relationship with someone?

Or should I just proceed with my plan and give it a try. The least that I can do is try.

God, I am helpless in crush with the girl in the green blouse. Do give me a second chance. I swear I won't screw it up again.

A Few Good Malaysians

2010-07-08T17:07:00.002+08:00

As a Malaysian, I'm proud to say that Malaysians have lost their courtesy towards their own countryman, the sensitivity towards clean and green environment, and the best part it, we are now favouring incompetency in public services.

The naked truth about Malaysians will be revealed soon (that includes me). Prepare yourself to be pissed off with facts that you've never thought of reading.

Well done Malaysians!

Industrial Training Presentation Slides

2010-07-01T19:53:00.009+08:00

*A number slides were purposely excluded from publish to protect the confidentiality of the research project*

Phew! It was my first time making presentation slide using MS Power Point 2007 and I quite like it. Got a bit obsessed though. Looking forward to try on MS Office 2010 tools!

Singapore | Clementi Woods

2010-07-01T18:31:00.003+08:00

An Average C for English?

2010-06-18T11:01:00.004+08:00

I'm all good for abolishing English usage as teaching medium for Science and Mathematics subjects in primary and secondary school (to ensure that students understand these subject in a language that they are most convenient with) provided that the proficiency rate of primary and secondary school students in English is good.

But I didn't expect the good to be an average C. I was expecting more than that, at least an average B. We are not progressing better, we are actually progressing worser. And a 5% increment is not satisfying and it's not an achievement. This is not just particularly in Sarawak. In general, this figure represents the whole Malaysian primary school students. I personally think if we don't take rapid and aggressive actions to address this matter, the progress might be slower than we expected.

People can still make fuss about their concern on the effect of English to their mother tongues if the children speak the language, and they will forget their root and indulge themselves in the Western culture. Such perception is extremely narrow and conservative. And I'm done with it.

If I'm Malay and I speak English, will I not be a Malay in the eyes of those people? We are just haunted by our worries. There is no problem of being proficient in more than one language. As a matter of fact, you can speak excellent English and excellent Malay as well. And the same goes to Mandarin, Tamil and other languages.

Being proficient in English has nothing to do with scared of the past, those days when we were colonized by British. Those days, many of us speak good English, even the armies, government servants, teachers and traders. Yet, they were still Malay, or Chinese or Indians. They had strong root eventhough they were assimilated by British. Why can't we do the same today and let ourselves heading backward while we should from a long time ago, move forward?

You can't learn English in a day. You can't expect yourselves to master the language by attending classes in school and yet, not using it. You have to use the language. It has nothing to do with jeopardizing the national language. If there is so, we are the one to be blamed, for not using the languages correctly. I've seen Malays that doesn't have good proficiency in English speak broken Malay (common Malay I would say) by adding up Malay words with English words. And yet, I've seen them listening to English commentators during football matches and read sports news in English, and yet,they understood it completely. If we are able to do that, we aren't we able to do the same with using the language?

My life abroad has challenged my proficiency in English. I'm proud whenever I converse with foreigners, they complimented my English and I told them that I'm Malaysian. I quoted a conversation I had with a German whom I worked with in the laboratory.

"Are you from Malaysia?".

"Yes, I am".

"You really have good command of English for an Asian and I didn't expect that from Asians. So you speak English at home?".

"I don't speak English at home. I speak my mother tongue, Malay with my family and friends, except if I want to badmouth people in a language they don't understand".

"So how did you be so good in English when you don't use them?".

"I am exposed to the language since young when I read books and watch TVs. I use it when I speak to my Chinese and Indian friends, and I think I express myself best in English compared to Malay, but nevertheless I still have strong Malay root".

"Wow. You should be proud of yourself".

I didn't take the credit for myself. The credit goes to us, Malaysians, who has proven that we can stand tall among other nations and we are recognized as Malaysians. We have proven to them that we may be international, but we are still Malaysians that have strong root within us.

And I'm proud to be Malaysian!

Total Expenditure

2010-06-16T10:34:00.004+08:00

RM 1.8 million for a week trip to USA and Japan? Man, that's a lot of government expenditure! I didn't say it's inappropriate or unnecessary, I'm just saying it's too much.

For Your Entertainment

2010-06-11T10:36:00.004+08:00

I got excited doing something funny yesterday (after browsing through all softwares and files in my notebook) and I came out with some entertainment that I had fun producing it. No offense to those who felt offended watching the video as it is only meant for the purpose of entertainment. Have fun watching it with a big HAHA! on your face.

The Waka Waka of World Cup 2010

2010-06-11T10:12:00.008+08:00

Everybody is excited (well, almost everybody) for today's kick-off match between South Africa and Mexico. After 4 years waiting for the world giants to rub their shoulders against one another in South Africa, medias- newspapers, televisions and advertisements turn focus on World Cup. And since I don't have a TV at home (I'm staying in Singapore now), I can only rely on the internet to get the updates on my favourite teams, the fixture on the teams line-up and the players' scandals, which have become the spices of World Cup.

The team that I support for is England (and will forever be England) and I think Spain has the brightest chance on winning the World Cup. But nevertheless, I believe that England will make surprises in the campaign. And this Saturday's match with USA should in your must-watch agenda.

Back to analysis, you can always check the internet (I tell you they are really reliable) so I will not do repetitive work. So why not spend a few moments flipping today's newspaper (the sport section) and read on articles and columns about every team hopes and dreams on lifting the World Cup. Even England is being secretive on the line-up against USA this Saturday (according to Captain Steven Gerrard) and I think it's a good strategy (never let the media leak all the confidential information).

And you still don't know why I think Spain will win the World Cup? Okay, let me tell you why.

Most teams (especially the top four favourites) have their key players- Brazil: Kaka, Argentina: Lionel Messi, Holland: Robin van Persie (just to name a few) but Spain has the best world players in every departments, with addition of Fernando Torres and David Villa in forward, and plus, they won Euro 2008, which is a big thing to be proud for.

Still don't get it? (sorry, I'm not good in memorizing names like my brothers) Relax. World Cup is for a month, and during this one month, anything can happen. Like I always say to my friends, in football, anything can happen.

The Waka Waka is in the air!

Good luck team England!

Underrated

2010-06-10T12:41:00.003+08:00

When people ask me what have I contributed so far to the society, I would answer: "Saya berjaya menyumbangkan lagu!".

Here is an underrated proof of it. Haha!

Enough said.

Why Make Such Fuss?

2010-06-10T11:04:00.006+08:00

How many times you make complaints about things that you're not satisfied with in a day? If you ask, I would say quite plenty.

Psychologically we make complaints to get attention from the other side, which is by letting your voice actions and hoping they will take physical actions to address the issues you brought up. Verbal communication is any way will not be effective, that part I can guarantee.

And how many times in a day we're thankful for the good things that people did to us? If you ask, I would say almost none.

We tried to be nice to others but most of the times, we are taken for granted. If you don't believe, try smiling to strangers when you bump into them while walking and count how many will smile back to you. In developed cities like Kuala Lumpur and Singapore, people tend to be on their own and ignore the people around them. They all seemed to have lost the courtesy of life, by being nice and pleasant towards other people.

So the next time you voice out your dissatisfaction, try to back how such thing happened and is it worth making a fuss about it. If it's something that can be solved simply, you'll smile all day long and tell yourselves why make such fuss.

People can be hilarious at times when they tend to laugh at others.

English Empowerment

2010-06-09T13:12:00.003+08:00

In response to Raja Zarith Sofiah urge on English empowerment among the Malays, this is a proof on how you can have a good command of English, but your Malay root is still maintained.

Till Heaven (Sampai Syurga)

2010-06-06T17:24:00.000+08:00

I used to love you till heaven until I found out that there is no way of getting to Heaven immortally and I decided not to love you anymore.

Lost In The Middle Of Translation

2010-06-04T17:38:00.005+08:00

I assume that you all know that I'm currently doing my industrial training in National University of Singapore Nanoscience & Nanotechnology Initiative as a researcher. Well, that's what my job prescription tells me.

Most of the times, I got lost in my own office. This isn't my place and my space, therefore getting lost is a common thing and I'm trying my best to cope with it. Whenever I walk around the building and end up being nowhere, I'll remember where I started and looked around to think whether should I go back or keep walking and see where will my legs take me.

In life, we always have options when we're stuck doing something. We can either stop and go back to where we start and get it all done all over again or we can continue from where we stop and see what we might end up with. There is possibility of failing, but not everytime you succeed doing something.

People always mistaken failing by assuming it as losing everything and call themselves losers. Many didn't know that it took 999 trials for Eddie Thompson to light a bulb. He didn't take himself as a failure, but learnt that there are 999 ways that will not light the bulb. And then, people invented a numerical method called trial and error, where you have to do a few trials (most of the time it's plenty of trials) till you get a sustained outcome value, then you know that your input value is correct.

It's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from it. Repeating it may be unwise but who knows you might do better? We never know what awaits us ahead, but I assure you that if you challenge yourself to do something puzzling, the satisfaction that you'll get in the end will worth it.

I know because I've been there and I've done that, and I'm telling you, it's fun doing it.

Singapore | Vivo City & Harbour Front

2010-06-03T16:38:00.005+08:00

When I lose hope, I don't need someone to cheer me up. I just need someone to inspire me again.

Malaysia | KL Tower, Kuala Lumpur

2010-05-18T16:55:00.000+08:00

Things are most beautiful when they are less appreciated.

Malaysia | I-City, Shah Alam, Selangor

2010-05-17T16:47:00.003+08:00

When you think that there are things that aren't meant to be, you're actually bringing yourself to the state of giving up.

Don't Say You Can't Do Anything

2010-04-24T16:08:00.005+08:00

I'm certain that everybody is aware of the climate change. If you don't, you're lucky to be in the outer space.

I don't want to talk about the causes and the consequences because I'm sure that everybody knows you impactful climate change is. Again, if you don't, you're lucky being alphabetically-blind not not being able to read.

One question that we were suppose to answer from the very beginning - what can we do for a change?

Most will say that they have no authority to do anything. Honestly, that is one of the stupidest answer ever written in history.

Change can happen anywhere, anytime and any place, that is a fact that we all should bear in mind.

A simple step like stop asking for plastic bags from the supermarkets or grocery shops should be a good start. After all, bringing your own shopping bags or carry small amount of groceries won't burden you much.

And when you come across rubbish on the floor and on the street, it won't hurt you at all by picking it up and dispose it into the garbage bin. Instead of seeing it and do nothing, you just did a deed to the environment. And if you couldn't find any garbage bin around you, why not keep the rubbish with you for a while and dispose it at home or at any places with garbage bins? That should be a terrific idea.

Seriously, if we have 34 degree celcius daytime temperature all year round and yet we still have insufficient conscious on the environment protection, let us bid a very warm welcome to fatal natural disasters. I'm sure many can't wait.

Chemical Engineering Australia Challenge 2009

2010-04-24T15:29:00.006+08:00

On 13 March 2010, we presented our report and findings from Australia academic visit (Chemical Engineering Australia Challenge 2009) to UMP community. Among those presented were Yang Hormat Dato' Vice Chancellor, Yang Hormat Dato' Deputy Vice Chancellor (Academic & International), Chief Deputy Registrar of Research & Innovation Department and Director of International Office.

Below are the presentation slides. Kudos to the team for the good presentation, as responded by Yang Hormat Dato' Vice Chancellor. Well done mate!

He, Who Likes Ice-Cream

2010-04-08T16:49:00.004+08:00

I wanted to write a story about a boy who likes ice-cream. You can like anything you want in life, but one thing that you can't help but like most is something that you like to have before you breathe out your last breath. He, Who Likes Ice-Cream is plotted to be a sad story, about a boy desiring to have an ice-cream the night before he died.

Jimmy, the boy has been diagnosed with dysfunctional organs ever since forever. He never knew how to ride a bicycle, he doesn't have any friends. He has nobody except Amanda, his mother. He never knew his father and he never cared. Despite that he lay all day on bad, he has crave for ice-creams. He likes the colours. He prefers the flavors and he love biting the cones. He thinks the best ice-cream in the world is Baskin Robins and the mother never failed to buy one on her way back home from work, everyday.

But one night, everything goes wrong with Jimmy. Nothing seems to work and the doctor gave up on him. He has few months to live and he never knows it. Amanda hid the secret from him. One night, just minutes passing midnight, Jimmy asks for ice-cream. But the mother refuses. The next day, he dies. With a note left on the table. "I wanted an extra ice-cream before I go to sleep but you didn't give me one. I hate you".

The note affects the mother. She fails to tell her son that she loves him. Only because she didn't grant his one last wish. And Jimmy will only be remembered as the boy who likes ice-cream. Not more than that. Not even loved by his mother. The end.

Boring! Next!

Birthdays

2010-03-30T02:17:00.005+08:00

I haven't celebrated my birthday for quite some times. I think the last time I'd a birthday celebration was like years ago, when I was still schooling. Birthdays aren't a great deal. So, I don't bother remembering my birthday nor celebrating it.

There are reasons of not celebrating. Number one, there's nothing to celebrate. Two, it's just a day you get a year older and there's no big deal with the age. It signifies nothing. Third, why should people be bothered with my birthday when they have better things to attend to.

Sometimes I forgot my birthday until someone came and wished and I will be like "I didn't know that today is my birthday". Like I said it meant nothing to me.

Anyway, to those who are celebrating it, wish you many happy returns and may you have a blast year ahead. Happy birthday!

The Untold Stories

2010-01-27T17:50:00.007+08:00

People blog for reasons. I bet you know what the reasons are. I define blogging as an act of making yourself heard. It's like pieces of papers with your writings on it and published without any editing and censoring. Of course, you speak your mind and you write what your heart tells you to.

Living in a country where freedom of speech is technically practiced with certain boundaries added to it to avoid hurting the sensitivity of the people, blogging is an effective tool of channeling ideas to viewers. In such way, credibility and responsibility are necessary for bloggers to be accountable of their writing.

The readers, on the other hand are accountable of reading and interpreting what they have read so that they will not be misunderstood, misinterpreted and misjudged with their own conclusions. I honestly say that mainstream medias in Malaysia are no longer reliable. In most cases, only one side stories are told and the other side is put in silence.

Fairness and equality of the media are seldom questioned not only by politicians, but the people as well.

If your parents read to you before your bedtime, and read you story of Robin Hood for example. You must be amazed of how heroic Robin Hood was and the King was the villain. But does it ever crossed your mind that the King took the citizens' money as tax payment and Robin Hood was stealing the government tax? If you didn't notice this, just give it a thought on other stories. You will find that whatever the characters did, the did it for a reason. And it is up to you to jugde the good guys and the bad guys.

I know it is hard living in conservative society. I somehow still have faith that these minds can be changed if we can find a method to open these minds.

It takes a great amount of strength to move a mountain but it only takes a little effort to change a mind.

Together, we can change.

For The Greater Good

2010-01-10T02:18:00.004+08:00

I haven't updated this blog for quite some times, I apologize for that. My bad.

I did a lot of thinking lately, and part of it was having the idea of deleting this blog. If you ask me any justification for that, I would say I don't have any reason for doing so, I just feel like doing it.

Yeah, how stupid I was for having such thought. Not having a reason to do something unreasonable reflects the stupidity in me.

Okay, I might not be stupid, but I was being inappropriate.

Two months with no updates, an email came from a reader, claiming that she has been a silent reader of my blog for a long time, inquired on my dysfunctional blog.

I told her I wasn't in the mood to write for the past few months and I intended on deleting this blog.

Her feedback wasn't supportive at all, in fact she questioned my decision and gave me a testimonial on my writing and asked me to review back my intention.

"You write well and your words came from your heart. You spoke your mind clearly and you made people realized it's okay to do mistakes as long as they learn something from it. I personally think that you should continue writing because there are things about you that rose curiousity among your readers, especially how simple your mind works, and what seems to simple in your eyes is complicated in the eyes of others. You made us realized that everything is easy when you know how to make everything simple".

I did gave that testimonial a thought and I rejected my own idea. Maybe I should resume writing but this time, I want it to be different and I want it to bring good to other people. In such way, this will be my contribution to the community and hopefully it will make the world a better place.

Putting the world at a better place with my gibberish writing? You bet I won't succeed.

Bill Clinton wrote in a book titled Giving: How Each of Us Can Change the World that even a small deed can make a difference to the world, as this is my small deed to the world.

We should all start writing because we never knew what good could it bring. But at some point, when people ask you what have you contributed to the world, you can tell them this:

I write and I hope my stories inspire people to do good to the world.

Let us all aim for the greater good, by writing.

I Didn't Do It On Purpose

2009-10-11T11:30:00.004+08:00

To some people, RM 35 might not cost a thing.

To me, RM 35 costs everything.

You can't expect inviting someone for dinner amounting RM 35 and get replied with immediate or positive answer. Money to certain people is not a thing. But to the other people, it is everything.

And by saying no, it doesn't mean that I didn't want to go purposely.

I'm Not Ready For It

2009-09-08T22:34:00.005+08:00

I'll never forget how it felt losing someone you dearly love.

I lost my grandmother over a year ago. And I still remembered the tears I shed on bidding her farewell. It hurt me too much to notice that I have lost somebody important in my life.

It was not easy to express that emotion during that time. I went back to Kota Bharu with troubled mind because I worried too much. And as I arrived at the hospital, I couldn't held my tears and I cried looking at my dying grandmother as the doctors were trying their best to save her.

I cried and I regret not having the chance to tell her for one last time that I really love her. She died in my arms as I led her to perform the syahadah. It was a heart-beating moment for me, knowing that she was ready to go. And then, she went to meet the Creator.

And last Raya, as my male family members and I have finished our Raya prayer and were heading home, Adam of Hitz.FM were playing Mariah Carey's Bye-Bye, and again, my tears shed again. I missed my grandmother so much and it was my first Raya with no phone call from Kajang to Kota Bharu, wishing my grandmother Selamat Hari Raya.

And I don't know what will happen to me if the same thing happen again to my parents. I'm not ready for it and I will never will, as I wish, it is me who will go first. It will hurt me too much to see myself being left by the two people I love most, and I don't know what am I going to do with everything when they are gone.

I Don't Deserve The 25th Hour

2009-08-29T23:47:00.002+08:00

It has been years since I last updated this blog. I'm not practically busy since you can still see me here and there in campus. It's just that I don't really have a quality allocated time to write stuff. My bad. Plus, not really in the mood to blog. Sorry about that. Sometimes, I forgot that I have 5 blogs to run, and up to date, all these blogs were left abandoned. Again, my bad.

Basically I was busy with my studies and I have to run few things at the same time. I'm not really an organized person but I'm still trying to be one. It sucks not being able to attend two events at the same time, and I'm really sorry for not being able to attend weekly theater classes and some sort of neglecting my own theater family.

Everytime, I repeat, everytime people ask me to come to events like meetings and gatherings and I have to decline due to improper time, they said hurting words that ached my feelings. Do you think it was easy for me to say no everytime I have to decline an offer? No. It wasn't easy. But I knew that were consequences that I have to deal with when I said no. I just want people to accept the declination and understand that I wanted to go but I can't.

I don't want to complaint but as advised by others, I need to share my problems. I don't have problems and I'll start having one when you think that not having a problem is my problem. I admit that I worry too much all the time but I have learnt to prioritize. I have learnt to delegate task and I have learnt to trust people. By doing so, I don't want to be seen as someone who tried to let go of everything I am responsibled for but merely a process of sharing responsibilities before passing this batton to a successor whom soon I'll find trustworthy.

By the way, I had just realized that I don't really have a best friend in university. I just have a few good friends whom I reckon as my family. When I say that you are my family, I care about you too much. When you're not talking to me, or neglect me, or abandon me, I felt hurt. I tried to be a better Amiruddin Fadzli and I know it wouldn't satisfy everybody. Sometimes, you guys were being unfair to me. Don't you understand that you're all important to me and the least thing that you can do is talk to me and smile to me when you meet me? It sucked me up to see dull faces and heavy mouth everytime I see my family members around campus. Maybe it's because of fasting perhaps. Or maybe, it's just my thought that went overreacted.

Salam Ramadhan to my Senandika family, I miss you guys everyday and I wish I always have time for you. And happy fasting to everybody!

A Tribute To Yasmin Ahmad

2009-07-29T19:40:00.004+08:00

When I first watched Rabun, I knew I'm going to fall in love with all her works.

I never knew her personally. But whenever I watched her films, I felt linked to her emotions as if she was telling her stories to me. She had never failed to steal my heart every time her babies came out. Starting with Petronas Independence Day and Hari Raya commercials to her controversial films like Sepet, Gubra, Mukhsin and Talentime, she unfolded many stories that made my neurons connected to figure out the hidden meanings. She was good at doing that. Telling Malaysians that we are skin-colour blinded and love is always the best thing that could happen to us.

When Rabun came out, it stole my heart. Though it was heavily crushed by critics, it failed to compramise my judgement on her works. I like her honesty with her bravery to reveal the truth about the Malaysian culture in her films. Her films were critically unaccepted but you can't help but liking all her masterpieces. She was the mother of Jason, Orked and Mukhsin, raising three talented actors that Malaysians have long waited to see. She was a great storyteller of her parents love life, through the story of Mak Inom and Pak Atan. She brought cheer to her film viewers with the character of Kak Yam. She was the one who told Malaysians not to be prejudice towards other races and religious matters, and not to be easily fooled by the skeptic assumptions and accusations. She was not just an ordinary storyteller, but an extraordinary teacher too.

And her movies were undeniablely the best that Malaysians have seen in the past few years. When Sepet was declared Best Movie in Malaysian Film Festival stepping aside the favourite Puteri Gunung Ledang, it caused stir in the movie industry but she stood for herself, giving reasons and evidences why Sepet deserved such recognition. She was unacceptedly discriminated by critics with her films but she was strong to fight the battle and winning it. She never put a limitation on her creativity and never knew the term "termination" when it comes to making films. And she is the the greatest filmmaker that Malaysia has ever had.

But last Monday, Malaysia grieved for the loss of its best filmmaker. She was attacked by stroke while presenting her paperwork in Seri Pentas and later on was admitted to hospital and died in the operation theater while the doctors were performing surgery to her brain. Her death shocked many Malaysians including me. I was one of those people who grieved for the death of Yasmin Ahmad. The best storyteller and the greatest filmmaker I have ever met in my life. Few weeks ago when I was watching Gubra, I was attacked by anticipation of her unrealesed project in Malaysia, Muallaf. And I was so eager to watch Sepet, Rabun and Mukhsin for God knows how many times I have watched it, and now, I knew that all happened for a reason.

Nobody can replace Yasmin Ahmad in the industry, and the death of Yasmin Ahmad is a great loss to the country. I'm sure God has better plans for her and we all have to accept that Yasmin Ahmad is gone.

She may be gone, but her love through her masterpieces remains with us.

Yasmin Ahmad, you left me with a quote that I will always remember for the rest of my life. This quote is taken from Gubra and it has taught me a lot.

"Why do hurt most, the ones we love the most?"

May God award eternal bless to your soul and place you among the people that He loves. In loving memory of Yasmin Ahmad, let us all pray for her peace in the afterlife.

Al-Fatihah.

Roti Canai

2009-07-18T13:49:00.002+08:00

Years ago when we were all still kids, we used to love eating Roti Canai with sugar. It tasted sweet and we used to love the sweetness. Though Mum and Dad bought the Roti Canai with curry, we hated the curry and asked for sugar instead.

But now, things have changed. When someone around my age asked Roti Canai to be served with sugar, he got laughed instead. He said to be immature and childish for asking such thing while years ago when he did the same thing, nobody seemed to question it.

So I asked myself, is it wrong to eat Roti Canai with sugar at the age of 21 when I think it is best served with sugar? Why do we have to be so judgemental with people's choices in life? Do we have to question it and pretend like we care?

And I got laughed doing things that I want, like eating Roti Canai with sugar. And I told myself not to care about it. And you should do the same too.

44 Hours On Road

2009-07-12T12:54:00.002+08:00

I thought of going on vacation weeks ago, but looking at my financial status, I knew the idea was impossible.

Last two days, my theater family and I was on road for 44 hours, having our hang-out moment watching theater performances in Kuala Lumpur and Penang.

It was superb! And all the praises go with it.

Having stuck with these people for 44 hours, I had real fun with these people. Real fun.

Whoever said I was wasting my time all these while with theater and the theater people must have gotten his life isolated from fun, pleasure and happiness. You were totally wrong dude! Shame on you.

Hahaha!

Lesson Learnt

2009-07-08T19:32:00.003+08:00

It has been almost a month since I last posted an entry in this blog. Sometimes, I even forget that I have few blogs to run.

Nothing much happened to me except the fact that I am a third year student now and I'm half way in finishing my degree course. And I know these upcoming semesters will hurt a lot but the show must go on right?

The last two months were mentally tiring for me. And I did learnt few things from the mistakes I did.

Number one: Don't make assumptions on something that you don't know and by saying that you don't know, the one thing that you need to do is to ask people around to you will have better understanding on something.

Number two: When you are leading a society or a group, you have to ignore all your principles in life so that you will not encounter contradictions that may force you to take irrational actions towards your colleagues and members. You have to be diplomatic and approachable. You cannot take sides and you have to hear from both sides before making any conclusions and actions. And for anything happens, the blames will indirectly go to you but you have to be wise in correcting things so that the scenario will not get worsen and intelligently tackled.

Number three: Don't let your emotion cloud your senses. And don't jump to fast and short-term conclusions because once you have taken the action and you found out that the action taken was inappropriate, you might regret your judgement and people will lose their respect on you.

And it is never too late to correct things up. I believe in that. Maybe it just take few moment for all of us to figure out a way of getting out from this whole mess.

And now, lesson learnt.

Reason Why

2009-06-08T17:19:00.003+08:00

Today's the day my life begins
All my life I've been just me
Just smart-mouth kid
Today I become a man
Today I become a husband
Today I become accountable to someone other than myself
Today I become accountable to you
To our future
To all the possibilities that our marriage has to offer
Together, no matter what happens
I'll be ready for anything, for everything
To take on life
To take on love
To take on possibility and responsibility
Today Isobel Catherine Stevens, our life together begins
And I for one can't wait

-Alexander Michael Karev, What A Difference A Day Makes, Grey's Anatomy Season 5

THIS IS WHY IZZIE STEVENS YOU CAN'T DIE!

Are You Ready For The Lesson?

2009-06-08T12:43:00.002+08:00

Tarikh The Lesson:

25 Jun 2009

Masa Pra-The Lesson:
8.00 pagi

Masa The Lesson:
11.00 pagi

Tempat The Lesson:
Auditorium Taman Budaya Negeri Pahang

"JAGA-JAGA! INI BUKAN KELAS BIASA!"

This Isn't A Love Story

2009-06-06T12:54:00.005+08:00

Somehow, I knew I crossed the line.

It was unintentionally done. I wasn't thinking deep enough and I was emotionally unstable. I was having a rough week and everything seems damaged. Nothing were functioning.

I knew I showed faces. I showed anger. I showed annoyance.

And people were annoyed.

God, forgive my soul.

It's okay if people want to judge. It's their rights to do so. But in every story, there are three sides. Your side. My side. And the truth.

So, here is my side of the story.

I was doing what was best for everybody. Apparently nobody seemed to acknowledge it. I wasn't being democratic. I have to make decisions and I hate making one when it involves everybody. So, in the end, I made a choice. And it wasn't favourable. But I made a choice.

At this moment, I'm willing to accept the consequences. But as I know that people did sacrifice for me, I too sacrificed something for them.

How I wished this whole thing is only a dream.

I need to wake up now!

Perhaps I was overreacting because I was afraid. Afraid of many things that I couldn't encounter.

Hate... Dislike...

2009-06-03T07:35:00.003+08:00

I felt empty.

I went back home last weekend and I felt good. I felt so good that I wanted to quit my life now and get back to the good old days.

I needed a vacation to break me up and all these while, I've spared my life with rationality and emotion, juggling up all works at the same time.

I'm a workaholic and I'm about to make no change.

People don't see that I was depressed. People don't see that I was frustrated. People don't see that I was disappointed over myself and my surrounding. People saw the happy and will always see the happy me. I don't show the inner me a lot and I know I'm suck at it, but sometimes, I need to back off.

Back off from all the pain and enjoy life at its best. But it's hard to do that.

I don't hate people for anything. I don't do that. I believe everybody has their own way of doing things and I can live fine with it. I just dislike people for some reasons and have no desire to socialize and befriend with. I don't have time to do that. I'm selfish and yet, I'm selfless. Everything is not about me, but it's for me and my surroundings' own good.

I know people dislike me and I give no fuss about that. I don't need people to like me if they don't want to. I'm sarcastic, harsh, choosy, fussy, radical, irrational, emotional, conservative, liberal, whatsoever you call it.

I don't care and it doesn't matter because this is my life that I'm living it, not yours. So, I give no darn of your dislikes on me. Not at all.

Life is terrible, especially when I'm in it. If you don't like it, then just go away.

Toodles!

Sengal's Quote Episode II

2009-05-24T12:51:00.003+08:00

There is no ME and YOU. What left is only US.

Sengal's Quote Episode I

2009-05-20T01:58:00.011+08:00

Being a leader, people won't bother to ask how you feel. What matters to them is that they won't have the same feeling as yours. And your feeling is a total ignorance to them.

Then I Realized That I Was Dumb

2009-05-18T19:49:00.008+08:00

Islamic & Asian Civilizations II, known as Ethnic Relation back few years ago.

And you have seen it for yourselves. I earned a B for that subject. And frankly speaking, I don't deserve that grade and I believe I deserve something better.

I could say that through this grade, my knowledge and my application of ethnic relation in daily life is just average. It's not even good and it's not even bad. There are still flaws here and there in understanding and applying the knowledge itself. Interpreted by the result.

But talking as a matured tertiary student, I believe there should be improvement in evaluating students performance in this subject rather than just having few written test to examine students' understanding in the subject. By taking a major of 60% of the subject, written test alone isn't enough to testify the end product.

Students can acquire the knowledge from reading either lecture notes or text books but do they really apply it? And with the knowledge they have, do they really understand the whole concept of ethnic relation in real life. I highly doubt that. I've seen for myself that even in university, we are still being racist among one another. The Malays will mix up among themselves as the Chinese and Indians having clicks from their own race.

It's true that we have multi-racial community in a class but can these people live together under one roof and accept each others faiths, beliefs and customs. Even the Malays up to date still question few Chinese and Indians customs, and we still have ethnic-based political parties and societies. My question is, my grading the students from written test alone, is it enough to ensure they really understand the issues mention above?

Participation in class, topic presentation and research study should be taken into account as major contributor to marks allocation. Through this, we can evaluate how far the students understand and apply the knowledge of ethnic relation in real life. Being in a country that applies examination-oriented education system, all these were minored because it's belived that performance are best shown through wriiten test, whereby reading books and memorizing therms and facts are more important than applying the knowledge itself.

Why I said I deserve to get a better grade?

I participated in class, and I can say I was the one who asked ackward questions that made people annoyed taking my questions in almost all presentation by my peers. Even the lecturer admitted that my questions are matured and relevent, and claimed by my peers as "high-standard' questions. It's not all that, that matters to me. I'm just being myself. Asking people about their opinions on certain matter and and avoid asking questions that I had already knew the answer. All they have to do is use their critical thinking and think and sometimes I made them think and most of the time, I couldn't make them think. However I believe I deserve a mark for that.

I didn't mean to say that I'm way better than my lecturer, and if I did said that, I apologize and I will take back my word. But getting total mark of 69/100 and just 1 mark insufficient of getting a B+, I was frustrated. My plea to the lecturer was denied because the grade has long been finalized by the Centre and Senate, and no amendments are allowed to be made. And that was the policy set up by the Centre. Again, another a policy that was long established without the students' knowledge. I'm sorry if any of my lecturers at the Centre felt hurt with the statement but that's the truth that we all have to bear with.

I remembered what my lecturers in English Dynamics used to tell the class. If you deserve an A, then I'll give you an A. And I stick to that to prove myself worth it. And now when I didn't, I felt angry towards myself. Have I not given all out to make the lecturer feel that I deserve to get my desired grade?

After a while, I realized that I was being immature. Result isn't everything. Even if my CPA isn't that promising but I do have all it takes for employment, I'll be employed. And that quality comes from undergoing situation as above. Grade isn't something. It's just a statement of alphabet in your academic transcipt ranging from A to F but that isn't the exact way of evaluating your actual knowledge in the particular subject and how do you imply all the knowledge you learnt in real life. That comes with addition of experience, spirit, determination and courage.

And I was dumb not thinking about it earlier. Now I can breathe easy again.

Home

2009-05-11T11:31:00.006+08:00

Someone who got bored during short semester tagged me. And that someone happens to be Rani. Rani? Boink!

Anyway, this tag seems new. Fresh I would say. Something that isn't lame and ridiculous. So, I would love to do it. Duh! Fake Sengal Ubi, fake!

Hahaha!

These are the rules that I'm meant to follow.

1. Search area rumah korang guna Google Maps.

2. Bulatkan mana satu rumah korang.

3. Tag 5 lagi rakan-rakan anda.

For someone who only wants to see result, here you are Rani.

Who's on the tag list:
1. Sis Nyda
2. Lan
3. Nuha
4. Dilos
5. Din

p/s: To those who didn't believe my house is on the river bank, you may now see it for yourselves.

I Was In Paper, Again

2009-05-09T05:27:00.003+08:00

Jejak Warisan '09: Fantabulous!

Pay By Cash

2009-04-27T19:47:00.004+08:00

Read the announcement and tell me what you think of it.

When Sengal Ubi Was A Kid

2009-04-24T23:35:00.006+08:00

I love this thing a lot, ever since I was small. And this is my favourite character in Sasame Street.

Why Cookie Monster.

Because it is adorable and it was what I wanted to be when I was in kindergarten.

I want to be it so I can eat up all the cookies in the world and no one would bother to stop me because I'm a monster. But people will love me because I'm blue and blue colour always attracts people.

I love Cookie Monster because it inspired me a lot when I was kid and it was the only reason why I would stuck myself in front of TV watching Sasame Street. My Abah used to tell us to watch that so-called educational programme but he didn't know my sole reason of watching it.

Here Abah, I'm being honest to you, even it is 19 years late. It's better late than never.

21 years and counting, I will still love Cookie Monster. I'll make sure my kids will love Cookie Monster. If that doesn't come naturally, then it's a force. Hahaha.

Kids aren't colouring books that needs you colouring them Sengal Ubi!

Selling Fast!

2009-04-23T01:34:00.007+08:00

I was in newspaper. Again.

It may somehow annoyed you. But they said, fame comes with a price.

Hahaha! Hell with that.

It was not easy to shoot an underground theater group to top, and we're not even on top yet. We have many miles to go to be known and to date, we still remain unknown.

It doesn't matter and it didn't bother me actually. As long as people acknowledge our talents, our credibility and our ability, that sounds good enough to me.

I shall let you all enjoy this article, and may we all learn from our flaws and lacks, improve, and deliver the best in mere future.

Sinar Harian, 10 April 2009.

Wishing a very Happy Birthday to these people, hoping happiness and success on their side always: Bed, Aini, Anis, Daoz, Bob and Zati Freaks.

Ulasan: Teater Orang Kasar

2009-04-19T14:42:00.006+08:00

Kebiasaannya apabila menerima jemputan menonton mana-mana pementasan teater, aku akan membayangkan jalan cerita berdasarkan judul pementasan teater tersebut.

Aku membayangkan cerita 'Orang Kasar' sebagai cerita yang sarat dengan pengajaran, mungkin ada perkaitan dengan keadaan politik semasa, atau mungkin sikap masyarakat yang semakin membelakangi adat resam, itu yang aku bayangkan.

Namun, bayangan aku ternyata meleset setelah menerima 'brochure' dari Kelab Teater Pujangga di Taman Budaya Negeri Pahang. Ini bukan teater yang aku bayangkan hebat, yang memberi seribu satu jawapan kenapa hati aku mendesak mahu menyaksikan pementasan teater ini.

Memandangkan malam tadi adalah malam pertama aku bergelar seorang dewasa setelah berusia 21 tahun, aku optimiskan diri aku untuk terus menyaksikan pementasan teater tersebut. Aku jangkakan teater tersebut akan habis awal kerana aku mahu melencong ke Big Apple Doughnut and Coffee, teman-teman ada mengirim sesuatu, namum tidak kesampaian.

Bermulalah analisa aku terhadap pementasan teater tersebut ketika jarum di jam tangan aku menunjukkan tepat jam 8.30 malam, namun pementasan masih juga belum bermula.

Kehadiran penonton melebihi tiga per empat panggung dan tidak mencapai full house, dan aku melihat kelibat A.K Hidayat dan Along, aku hanya bersalaman dengan mereka, malas mahu berbicara panjang kerana aku yang akan mendengar bicara tersebut, bukan aku yang berbicara.

Kini, aku hurai satu per satu komentar aku terhadap teater Orang Kasar yang dipersembahkan oleh Kelab Teater Pujangga. Aku hanya memberi pandangan yang kurang, supaya kita sama-sama boleh membaiki yang kurang. Yang lebih, aku rasa mereka telah maklum mendengar, dan aku kurangkan bahagian itu.

1. Disiplin Pentas

Krew produksi pementasan ini tidak menepati disiplin pentas. Sebaik sahaja panggung dibuka, masih terlihat kelibat krew produksi masuk keluar belakang pentas di kiri dan kanan tirai depan. Sepatutnya pentas dibiarkan kosong tanpa ada sebarang pergerakkan keluar masuk melalui laluan pentas. Disiplin krew produksi sangat teruk menyebabkan aku merasa terganggu untuk terus menunggu masa pementasan.

Aku lihat:

Amatur atau profesional, disiplin itu perkara asas. Jika yang asas disanggah, mana mungkin ada yang lanjutan. Yang remeh pada mata anda, mungkin menjadi berat pada mata penonton.

2. Disiplin Masa

Permentasan tertunda selama 30 minit. Jika mahu memulakan pementasan pada pukul 9.00 malam, sebaiknya maklumkan sahaja kepada penonton perkara tersebut. Jangan menggunakan taktik beritahu masa awal tetapi bermula lambat untuk memenuhkan panggung. Bukan semua penonton yang hadir awal mahu terus menunggu sebegitu lama. Masa tidak menunggu sesiapa kerana ini bukan festival teater yang memerlukan krew produksi menantikan kehadiran juri. Hargai penonton anda yang datang awal walaupun mereka itu anda tidak kenal dan anda merasakan tidak perlu untuk bertegur sapa. Aku merasa tidak dihargai, tapi tidak mengapa kerana aku bukan siapa-siapa.

Aku lihat:

Teater menuntut kita supaya berdisiplin. Kalau terzahir di atas kertas 8.30 malam, maka 8.30 malam kita bermula. Kalau mahu berstrategi sekalipun, buatlah strategi yang bijak supaya yang datang menonton awal rasa dihargai, yang datang menonton lambat rasa kerugian. Bukan semua penonton adalah kenalan anda dan anda harus belajar menghargai mereka. Mereka adalah klien anda yang utama.

3. Tentatif Pementasan

Pementasan bermula dengan ucapan dari ahli jawatankuasa Majlis Teater Negeri Pahang dan bacaan sajak oleh anak kepada salah seorang ahli jawatankuasa Majlis Teater Negeri Pahang. Aku kira memberi kredit melalui ucapan pengerusi majlis atau di dalam 'brochure' sudah mencukupi, tidak perlu sehingga memberi ucapan dan mendeklamasikan sajak yang tidak ada kena mengena dengan pementasan. Kalau mahu bermain politik dengan Majlis Teater Negeri Pahang sekalipun, mainlah dengan bijak. Aku merasakan masa terbazir mendengar ucapan yang klise, terima kasih kepada ini, tahniah kepada ini. Mod menonton telah terpotong di situ dan tidak menghasilkan dinamik persembahan.

Aku lihat:

Ini adalah pementasan biasa, aku kira tidak perlu semua itu. Mahu mengambil hati sekalipun orang atasan, jangan menindas yang bawah dengan gimik-gimik sebegitu, melainkan gimik tersebut mampu memberi impak dramatik kepada penonton. Anda harus memahami kehendak penonton, bukan memahami kehendak orang atasan.

4. Binaan Set

Binaan set tidak cukup gah dan tidak cukup mewah untuk melambangkan seorang kaya yang memiliki beberapa buah ladang getah. Set juga tidak menjangkau tiga dimensi bagi menimbulkan kepuasan tontonan kepada penonton. Potrait, dinding dan sofa tidak melambangkan kemewahan kerana potrait sedikit kebudak-budakan tanpa berbingkai mewah. Sofa dilitup dengan kain-kain biasa yang tidak kelihatan mewah dan dinding hanya berkertaskan bunga-bunga biasa yang memang tidak kelihatan mewah.

Aku lihat:

Untuk nampak mewah, tidak perlu berbelanja besar, tapi memerlukan kerahan kreativiti dan inovatif tahap kritikal krew set, props dan hiasan. Pemilihan gambar, dinding dan set haruslah tepat kerana elemen-elemen ini memberi pandangan pertama kepada audiens untuk menonton pementasan teater tersebut. Set tidak perlu terlalu kompleks pada penglihataan aku, cukup untuk menggambarkan cerita dan digunakan secara optimum oleh pelakon. Banyak lagi membuat kajian untuk set-set ruang tamu dan bahagian dalam rumah.

6. Teknikal

Tiada apa yang boleh dikatakan mengenai teknikal kerana 90% daripada pementasan menggunkan 'setting' lampu yang sama dan tidak berubah. Namun aku suka ketajaman teknikal ketika pentas digelapkan dan 'spotlight' menghala ke Puan dan Mubin. Sangat tajam dan kemas. Tahniah! Tetapi teknikal yang mendatar tidak memberi mod yang baik kepada audiens. Begitu juga dengan ketiadaan kesan khas. Pementasan nampak kosong dan tidak menarik.

Aku lihat:

Kredit pertama aku beri kepada krew produksi. Namun, ketika muzik dimainkan, ada kalanya terlalu kuat dan tidak tajam. Kaji lebih mendalam perkara tersebut, terutamanya bahagian muzik supaya 'on' dan 'off' muzik nampak tajam dan kemas. Kesan khas juga boleh diperbanyakkan ketika Mubin masuk ke dalam rumah dan ketika Puan memanggil kucing untuk memberi makan supaya adegan tersebut nampak hidup semasa pementasan. Mungkin krew produksi boleh mengkaji lagi bagaimana untuk melebihkan penggunaan teknikal bagi setting ruang tamu supaya membantu set nampak gah dan mewah. Mungkin bantuan lampu tambahan untuk set ruang tamu atas pentas.

7. Busana

Pemilihan busana yang kurang tepat bagi Junaidi. Anda harus membezakan busana bagi pelayan bar dan orang gaji. Aku meletakkan watak Junaidi berdasarkan tafsiran kepada busana sebagai pelayan bar kepada Puan, dengan kain lap diletakkan di bahu untuk mengelap cawan. Busana Puan dan Mubin, aku tiada masalah. Cuma kasut tumit Puan sangat mengganggu pendengaran aku sepanjang pementasan ketika Puan bergerak. Begitu juga Mubin. Oh ya, selendang Puan juga aku lihat membuatkannya begitu tidak selesa, dan dengan pakaian yang sebegitu mewah dan muka yang berseri tersolek walaupun sedang kemurungan, aku letakkan Puan sebagai balu berhias, walaupun dalam rumah sendiri.

Aku lihat:

Krew produksi seharusnya mengkaji lantai pentas sebelum membuat pemilihan kasut. Dan perbanyakkan kajian tentang pemakaian wanita yang kemurungan dalam rumah. Dari segi tatarias aku lihat perkara tersebut masih perlu dikaji dengan mendalam.

8. Lakonan

Ada tiga watak dalam pementasan ini. Puan, Mubin dan Junaidi. Sebagai percubaan pertama, mereka menunjukkan persembahan yang biasa. Namun, mereka harus mendalami lagi setiap watak yang didukung. Pelakon harus menjaga 'attitude' di atas pentas bersesuaian dengan watak dan perwatakkan mereka. Lontaran vokal harus jelas dan kuat, tetapi tidak perlu meninggikan suara dan menjerit. Intonasi harus dipelbagaikan supaya lakonan tidak mendatar. Profil di atas pentas harus dijaga supaya tidak 'blocking'. Pergerakkan pelakon atas pentas terutamanya watak Puan dan Mubin harus dikurangkan dan bergerak hanya perlu supaya tidak mengganggu penonton dengan pergerakkan yang terlalu banyak. Lebihkan bermain dengan set, props dan hiasan dan kaji dengan lebih mendalam profil setiap pelakon atas pentas. Ekspresi muka harus bersesuaian dengan watak supaya lakonan tidak kaku.

Aku lihat:

Puan digambar sebagai seorang wanita kaya yang kemurungan berduka selama setahun akibat kematian suami, namun di atas, aku tidak sekalipun melihat ekspresi tersebut. Aku melihat Puan sebagai seorang wanita muda yang angkuh dan sombong. Intonasi yang mendatar dan ekspresi muka yang minima menjadikan watak Puan watak yang kaku. Pertukaran emosi dari marah kepada sayang di akhir cerita juga tidak tajam. Puan harus mendalami lagi emosi, perasaan, ekspresi muka dan gerak tubuh wanita yang kemurungan. Garapan yang tidak kemas menjadikan watak Puan membosankan.

Mubin melontarkan suara dengan baik dan jelas, namun intonasi yang mendatar dan emosi yang statik menjadikan watak tersebut stereotaip. Tidak perlu meninggikan suara pada semua ayat yang dilafazkan, cukup sekadar menggambarkan emosi ketika mengucapkan ayat tersebut. Pelbagaikan pembawaan watak supaya wujud dinamik dalam lakonan. Perwatakkan kasar Mubin tidak sampai kepada aku. Perlu lebih banyak bermain dengan perwatakkan tersebut. Kasar itu universal, bergantung kepada kreativiti kau untuk menyampaikannya kepada penonton. Kajian yang mendalam terhadap lelaki kasar juga perlu untuk Mubin.

Junaidi sebagai orang gaji yang tertekan tidak langsung kelihatan tertekan. Aku melihat Junaidi sebagai pelayan bar yang rimas melayani kerenah Puan dan Mubin. Apa yang Junaidi tertekan, aku tidak nampak perkara tersebut. Junaidi juga perlu lebih banyak bermain dengan set, props dan hiasan supaya wataknya sebagai orang gaji lebih optimum. Junaidi juga harus menjaga 'attitude' dengan Puan supaya perhubungan watak antara pekerja dan majikan kelihatan di mata penonton. Ekspresi muka Junaidi juga harus dijaga supaya tidak nampak bosan dan kaku. Perbanyakkan kajian tentang watak orang gaji lelaki.

9. Sinopsis

Sinopsis yang dibaca terlalu panjang dan menyeluruh menyebabkan aku boleh mengagak apa kesudahan cerita tersebut.

Aku lihat:

Sinopsis boleh diringkaskan dan diterjemahkan dengan daya penarik supaya penonton mahu menonton pementasan tersebut.

10. 'House Light'

'House light' lambat dimatikan dan membunuh mod menonton aku pada awal pementasan.

Aku lihat:

Mungkin nampak remeh. Tapi teater penuh dengan perkara remeh yang memberi implikasi kepada penonton. Krew produksi sepatutnya mematikan 'house light' yang statik dan menghidupkan 'house light' boleh laras untuk permulaan pementasan yang memerlukan penungguan yang lama itu, barulah teknikal secara keseluruhan nampak kemas dan tajam.

Rating:

Aku beri 2/10. 1 untuk teknikal dan 1 lagi untuk usaha yang memberansangkan pada percubaan pertama. Selebihnya aku tidak beri kerana aku lihat pada 'output' yang biasa, walaupun aku dengar-dengar cerita, hampir dua bulan mereka berlatih. Lama sungguh!

Sekian aku punya ulasan. Ini baru aku yang ulas, belum lagi Farani Mustafa atau Pegawai Khalwat. Andai krew produksi teater Orang Kasar membaca blog ini dan merasa tidak puas hati, tidak mengapa. Aku hanya memberi pandangan atas pengamatan dan pengalaman aku sendiri. Tahniah atas pementasan teater sulung anda dan selamat maju jaya untuk pementasan teater yang seterusnya.

Ulasan tentang teater di negeri Pahang:

Aku mendapati kebanyakkan aktivis teater di negeri Pahang gemar mementaskan suatu naskah yang gah pada nama tetapi biasa pada 'output', dan naskah-naskah ini kesemuanya dipentaskan secara jenaka yang boleh aku labelkan jenaka bodoh orang Malaysia dengan alasan itu kehendak penonton di negeri Pahang. Mentaliti ini harus diubah kerana teater itu juga perlambangan kepada realism dan dunia tidaklah sejenaka yang dilambangkan. Teater di negeri Pahang memerlukan satu anjakan paradigma supaya minda aktivis teater dan penonton lebih terbuka dan tidak tertumpu kepada 'humor' semata-mata. Ibarat menonton filem Razak Mohaideen dan Afdlin Shauki, aku kira anda tahu yang mana bodoh dan yang mana bijak, walau kedua-duanya berunsurkan jenaka. Sama-sama kita fikirkan.

Aku? Sudah tentu aku memilih Afdlin Shauki. Jenakanya bijak, sarat dengan pengajaran.

Aku ialah aktivis teater muda, sama seperti kamu. Cuma beza kau dan aku ialah fikiran kita dan penilaian kita terhadap teater. Selebihnya, kita adalah sama.

Thanks Love

2009-04-18T11:52:00.042+08:00

I would personally like to thanks those people who wished on my birthday. I was touched to know that many still remember my birthday. Thanks love.

1. Raja Azean
2. Nina
3. Abang Wan
3. Syidek
3. Hajar
4. Kak Nyda
5. Neywa
6. Kak Yana
7. Emak
8. 0195052327
9. Azalea
10. 0195229730
11. Eqa
12. Daoz
13. Jumain
14. Noorly
15. Abang Fify
16. 0199629485
17. Ecah
18. Robin Cheah
19. Along
20. Azlan Umar
21. Cik Nad
22. Nurul
23. Ponnarasy
24. Siti Nad
25. Barun
26. Acab
27. Irwan
28. Izzah
29. Wawi
30. Kak Ida
31. Bob
32. Rafiq
33. Dee
34. Rose
35. Efy
36. Sarol
37. Aru
38. Adik
39. Jefferson Lim
40. Kak Ainaa
41. Alia
42. Sayme
43. Kama
44. Soo Jin
45. Midah
46. Kartene
47. Elaine Kong
48. Zatie Freaks
49. Kak Mel
50. Ismat
51. Faera
52. Nanie
53. Anis
54. Aida
55. Dayah English Camp I
56. Atteya
57. Atiqah
58. Syafiq
59. Esma
60. Ee Hwa
61. Shanu
62. Azaad Umar
63. Kim Chang
64. Aifaa KSP
65. Shue KSP/KMJ
66. Hashim
67. Abang Azril
68. Irwan Shah
69. Syed
70. Aini English Camp
71. Waney Achu
72. 0133048258
73. Syamsul Ikhwan
74. Khairul Rabani
75. Deejay
76.Syaz
77. Bobby
78. Asilah
79. Azam
80. Aizat
81. Dayah
82. Timun
83. Bina Rajan
84. Lavania Mohan
85. Idaii Aniza
86. Rosnajihah
87. Daus Otai
88. Acap
89. Azim
90. Khairunnisa (Khai SKSK)
91. Mojak
92. Miss Marziah
93. Haniff Borhan
94. Roswani
95. Kak Long Diana
96. Nurul Nuha
97. Rafie Zuhaili
98. Farah Zahidah
99. Auntie Ja
100. Datin Aini
101. Seha
102. Tqah
103. Cupid
104. Hana Jasney
105. Syafiqah
106. Hafiz Majid
107. Harith Iskandar
108. Jue Obie
109. Husna
110. Kay
111. Adam

-Sorry for the unnamed numbers. I'll write your names once the handphone starts working functionally.

And today witness an addition to my age. I'm 21 today, which according to the Federal Constitution, I'm at the legal age to register as general election voter. To me, age is just a number, with lots of responsibilities come together as prize.

A friend reminded me that at this age, I should be able to think rationally, and he advised me to lower my ego. And I was like freaked out. He was right. I should lower my ego. People hate me for that. But that's me. If you love me, it comes together with the package. Never mind, I will deepen the thought. Maybe the time for a change has come.

I've been living my 21 years of life with love and happiness, and I couldn't thank God enough for it. May my life be blessed with His love, and may your love too.

Thanks Raja Azean for the doughnut. My favourite!

Thanks Nina for the singing. Reminds me of your special wish with your roommates two years ago. I missed that moment.

Thanks to those who called, SMSed, Skyped, YMed, shout outed and commented on blog. I really appreciate it.

Again, thank you love.

I Have An Issue II

2009-04-12T02:12:00.003+08:00

I love this bunch of people so much! They are my family.

It has been a while since I last write, and people have started asking me to write back. Alhamdulillah.

People do love my writing after all, and I couldn't thank them enough for that. I spend my last three weeks managing Fiesta Teater Senandika.

It started well and it ended well. Everything went paralleled with plan, except we didn't have full house audience during the finale. I was a bit disappointed but looking at the bright side, the ceremony went well with The Honourable Dato' Vice Chancellor himself present at the ceremony.

I have to accept the fact that there are art-blinded people in the university. And it is part of our responsibility to open their eyes and change their perception. Man, that is one hell of heavy burden on our shoulders.

A friend asked me, what is my greatest strength. I answered I'm confident with myself and what I'm doing. He nodded. Then he asked me again, what is my greatest weakness. I said at times, I'm too confident with myself and what I'm doing.

Emak often advised me not to be too confident in everything, and I tend to do that at all times. I put high expectation, put all hopes, and give my all to get what I want. What I didn't realize is how bad would it affect me when I lose everything. I won't have anything to rely on. And what I didn't realize is the pressure I gave to myself to achieve perfectness.

What I fear most is losing control of myself, losing control of my work and losing control of people around me. My nature being the second born does reflects my whole personality. Being a leader isn't an easy job. But I think, I'll survive doing it.

I know to gain respect from others, I need to respect them first. I'm learning to be a good leader, as lined by Islam, as meant by my name itself, Amir. The leader.

And now, my journey have long started. And I'm getting more comfortable with it. Alhamdulillah.

We Dare To Evolve & Transform!

2009-03-30T05:15:00.007+08:00

Alhamdulillah.

Everything is on track for Fiesta Teater Senandika 2009. With five days left before the event, I hope everybody involved with the theatre production will give out their very best. As I said before, I put high hopes and expectations on them.

This fiesta would be the very first for Kumpulan Teater Senandika, after five years establishment. The evolution and transformation that I proposed isn't something new. We have evolved from time to time under previous Senandika leaders. From Kumpulan Drama Senandika we evolved to Kumpulan Teater Senandika. And from staging dramas, we evolved to staging theatres and now, we are transforming from nobody to somebody, and from unknown to known.

There were ups and downs in Senandika itself before. First was the disperse of this group after a year establishment, then regrouped back by Abang Raja, continued by Kak Yun and Azlan. Now, under my leadership, I tried to create as many possible links with other theatre groups and productions, including from ASWARA and other universities. Alhamdulillah, slowly, Senandika is now known to many as a theatre group under Kelab Kebudayaan & Kesenian, Universiti Malaysia Pahang.

And to witness this historial moment, we present you our very own theatre performance, staged by our very own production crews. The event will take place on 4 & 5 April 2009 at Auditorium Taman Budaya Negeri Pahang, Jalan Teluk Sisek, Kuantan.

Schedule for the theatres are as follows:

4 April 2009

3.00 petang:

Ubat | Karya: Azlan Umar | Arahan: Azlan Umar

8.30 malam:

Teruk | Karya: Zahiril Adzim | Arahan: Fakhrul Shahidan

Tambat Kaki | Karya: Khairil Ridzuan Saharudin | Arahan: Nurul Afiqah

5 April 2009

8.30 malam
Majlis Perasmian Fiesta Teater Senandika

Kerusi | Karya: Hatta Azad Khan | Arahan: Farani Mustafa

Admission is free-of-charged and all are invited to come. I humbly invite all my blog readers to come. Seating is on first-come-first-serve basis as the seating is limited to 350 audience per performance. But we will figure out a way to squeeze-in everybody if the house is packed on that day. Hoping to see you all there, insyaAllah.

Alhamdulillah.

p/s: Daoz, I'm seeking for your permission to use your Pusaka Sari artwork for the fiesta poster. Hope you won't mind. Thanks!

Fiesta Teater Senandika 2009

2009-03-25T17:04:00.006+08:00

Allah Is Almighty

2009-03-17T03:00:00.005+08:00

Alhamdulillah.

People recognize and appreciate my talent. Thank Allah for his gift.

Allah is Almighty.

Allah's love for his servant is something that we couldn't define by words. He blessed us with love everyday, even in the Hereafter.

Many people lost faith when they lost what they value most. My religion taught me that no matter what happens, I'm not alone. Allah is with me.

Allah, make me a better person. Bring me to your path, tender me with your blessings, pour me with your Nur. To your I turn to and to you I devote my life to.

Allah is Almighty

My Heart Cries

2009-03-13T12:24:00.003+08:00

Allah is talking to me about two things.

Patience

and

Sincerity

I can hear voices and it saddens me. I'm deeply hurt yet I deny my feelings. Such a loser for being an optimist. Such a dumb for being so emotional. Such a freak for being sensitive.

Confession Of A Broken Heart

2009-03-10T02:17:00.003+08:00

As much as I love my families, I do love people whom I considered as families.

I have abundance of heartaches kept inside me. The heartaches I had to see you happy, even I have to deal with the greatest pain. For the people I love, I'm willing to do anything in my power.

What sadden me is that this people didn't get why I was being so sarcastic all these while, and I can see hatred in their eyes, reflected to mine. People hate me for my harsh words in my comments and critics. I do know that people hate me, yes I do.

And yet the say they love me too and I am their family.

And they said that when they have hatred in their hearts and they can't accept me for who I am, yet they call themselves my families.

I'm the black sheep of my blood family. I'm the rebellious and the weird one, yet my blood family has never questioned me on that, accepting me just the way I am. If I treated my blood family that way, why should I be any differ to you? If I'm sarcastic in the eyes of my blood family, why shouldn't I be the same to you? After all, you are my families.

If you really want me to treat you differently, things will never be the same again. Never.

Words Of Love

2009-02-25T12:45:00.004+08:00

"Tok Wan... Angah nak balik. Tunggu Angah balik. Nanti Angah teman Tok Wan dekat hospital ya?"

Itu kiriman pesanan ringkas aku kepada Tok Wan. Berita yang aku terima dari Emak cukup memilukan di kala aku berbaring di katil berehat, hatiku remuk dengan khabar berita dari ibuku.

"Tok Wan sakit tenat." Dia call Emak tadi tapi Emak tak angkat telefon sebab tak perasan masa Emak charge handphone dekat belakang. Mak rasa nak balik Kelantan jumpa Tok Wan sekarang jugak.

Aku menjadi tidak keruan. Terus mengambil keputusan pulang ke Kota Bharu sejurus menerima perkhabaran dari Emak. Sudah lama aku berjanji kepada Tok Wan mahu menziarahinya, namuk kerap-kali aku menangguhkan hajat tersebut.

Sebelum itu Emak menelefonku dengan suara tersekat-sekat, mencari saki-baki kudrat yang ada untuk menyampai khabar tersebut kepadaku. Namun, Emak tidak mampu mencari kekuatan lantas hanya mengirimkan pesanan ringkas kepadaku, memintaku segera pulang ke kampung.

Aku bergegas ke Kuantan dengan hati yang renyuk. Rasa sebak mendominasi dadaku, namun aku sembunyikan di balik senyuman tenang, untuk memotivasikan diri supaya semuanya akan baik-baik sahaja. Namun aku tidak mampu menipu diri sendiri.

Dalam solatku, aku meminta kepada Tuhan:

"Ya Allah... Andai ini ajal Tok Wanku, biarlah dia pergi dengan mudah. Permudahkanlah urusannya ya Allah... Aku cuma memohon kepadamu dengan kehinaan pada diriku ya Allah, berilah aku kesempatan untuk bertemu dengan Tok Wanku ya Allah, sebelum kau mencabut nyawanya. Tunaikanlah permintaanku ya Allah..."

Perjalanan dari Kuantan ke Kota Bharu selama enam jam tidak terasa penatnya. Dalam benak fikiranku, wajah Tok Wan menjelma.

Baru semalam rasanya aku dilahirkan ke dunia dan dia menjagaku untuk beberapa ketika.

Baru semalam rasanya di waktu kecikku, dia ada untukku, menemaniku bermain dan mengasihiku di kala Abah dan Emakku bekerja.

Baru semalam rasanya di hari raya, dia menghulurkan padaku biskut London Almond kesukaanku bertemankan pohonan yang dililit kerlipan lampu berwarna.

Baru semalam rasanya dia memarahiku dengan penuh lembut dan kasih sayang di kala aku terberak dalam seluar dalam perjalanan pulang ke kampung dan menemani membasuh seluar tersebut.

Baru semalam rasanya aku dan sepupuku berhempas-pulas membasuh kereta pak cik dan mak cikku, mengumpul duit membelikan hadiah sempena hari lahirnya

Baru semalam rasanya dia memarahiku kerana lalai dalam mengerjakan solat selepas aku sudah berkhatan.

Baru semalam rasanya dia memujukku menangis selepas dimarahi Abah akibat berkelahi dengan adik perempuanku hanya kerana bas.

Baru semalam rasanya dia mengucup dahiku dan memelukku setiap kali aku berjumpa dengannya.

Baru semalam rasanya aku mencium tangannya meminta izin untuk keluar bersama mak cikku dan dia memuji aku di hadapan rakannya sambil mengatakan aku ini cucunya.

Baru semalam rasanya dia menziarahi keluargaku di kala aku melangkah keluar rumah untuk ke asrama dan dia mengiringi perjalananku dengan doa.

Baru semalam rasanya aku menelefonnya dan bertanyakan khabar sambil mengucapkan rinduku padanya.

Baru semalam rasanya aku berjanji kepadanya aku akan pulang ke Kota Bharu setiap kali cuti semester.

Baru semalam rasanya aku nekad untuk tinggal bersamanya di kala aku makan hati dan merajuk dengan tindakan Abah.

Baru semalam rasanya aku nekad untuk meraikan lebaran bersamanya, bukan bersama keluargaku di rumah.

Baru semalam rasanya aku mengakhiri perbualan di telefon dengan ungkapan "I Love You" dan dia juga mengungkapkan "I Love You" kembali kepadaku.

Air mataku berderai, namun aku sembunyikan di balik gelap malam hingga tiba di Kota Bharu Subuh hari. Tiba di rumah Tok Wan, hati aku kembali remuk mengenangkan saat-saat indah bersama arwah tatkala melihat pokok yang ditanam, rumput yang tumbuh satu masa dahulu aku bersihkan selepas dipotong bersamanya, bekas reban itik yang satu masa dahulu menjadi suatu ketakutan kepadaku dan seringkali aku bersembunyi di belakangnya. Dan hatiku menjadi remuk saat melangkah ke dalam rumah, mengenang kembali semua peristiwa aku bersamanya sambil merenung gambar-gambar arwah bersama keluarganya.

Dua jam setibanya aku di Kota Bharu, mak cikku memaklumkan Tok Wan nazak dan meminta kami bergegas ke Hospital Universiti Sains Malaysia, Kubang Kerian. Dalam perjalanan, aku mengirim pesanan ringkas kepada teman-teman, mohon diberi kekuatan untuk menghadapi ujian besar daripada Tuhan. Dalam kereta juga, pak cikku berpesan supaya kami tabah dan redha dengan ketentuan yang telahpun tertulis di Loh Mahfuz oleh Yang Maha Mencipta.

Tibanya di HUSM, kami bergegas ke wad untuk mendapatkan Tok Wan. Setibanya di wad, Tok Wan terbaring di atas katil. Keadaannya memilikukan aku, mendapatinya cekung dan kurus, menderita kesakitan setelah kesekian lamanya berperang dengan kesakitan tersebut. Hati aku berderai melihat doktor mencuba sedaya mampu untuk menyelamatkan arwah. Mak cikku memberitahu arwah mengadu sukar bernafas dan kemudian mak cikku segera mendapatkan doktor. Aku merendahkan egoku sebagai seorang lelaki, mendapatkan Emak lalu memeluknya, mohon diberikan kekuatan untuk mendoakan arwah dengan deraian air mata membasahi mimpi. Aku menangis melihat Tok Wan yang kaku di katil, cuba diselamatkan doktor. Dalam diam, di hatiku, aku kembali berdoa kepada Tuhan:

"Ya Allah, andai ini takdirnya ya Allah, biarlah Tok Wan pergi dengan tenang. Permudahkanlah urusannya ya Allah..."

Kemudian, mak cikku meminta aku berbisik di telinga Tok Wan, mengajarnya mengucap. Aku menjadi kaku, aku tidak tahu samada aku berdaya melakukan yang sedemikian atau tidak. Aku sejujurnya tidak mahu dia pergi namun aku harus merelakan dan aku harus redha akan ketentuan Illahi. Aku kemudian dengan esakkan merapatkan tubuhku ke tubuh Tok Wan mengusap ubannya dan mencium dahinya, dan dengan kesyahduan, aku mengajarnya melafazkan syahadah.

"Laillahaillallah..." Lafazku dengan sebak yang bergelumang di dada.

"Laillahaillallah..."

"Laillahaillallah..." Sambungku dengan peringatkan daripada mak cikku untuk tidak menumpahkan air mata ke muka Tok Wan.

Aku meneruskan kalimah syahadah hingga ke pengakhiran, disambut dengan bacaan Yasin oleh mak cikku dan Emak hingga doktor mengesahkan Tok Wan sudah tiada, menyahut seruan Illahi dan meninggalkan kami ke alam barzakh.

Aku meneruskan kalimah syahadah hingga Emak menarikku dari katil dan memelukku erat. Aku redha dengan ketentuan Illahi dan bersyukur Allah menunaikan doaku, berkemungkinan arwah meninggal di pangkuanku dan aku sempat bertemu arwah dan membisikkan cintaku padanya buat terakhir kali.

Usai urusan peralihan jenazah dilakukan di HUSM, arwah ditempatkan di rumah untuk dimandikan dan dikapankan. Aku mula melihat pak cik, mak cik dan sepupuku tiba di pintu rumah dan mendapatkan arwah. Hatiku kembali sayu, namun aku sudah tiada air mata untuk ditangiskan. Usai solat Asar, jenazah dibawa ke suatu tempat yang aku sudah lupa akan namanya untuk disemadikan. Sebelum berangkat, kami sekeluarga mendapatkan arwah untuk menciumnya buat kali terakhir dan aku menuliskan kalimah agung nama Yang Maha Mencipta pada dahinya usai kucupan pada dahinya. Perjalanan kami ke perkuburan di sambut dengan hujan renyai, seolah bersedih atas kematian Tok Wan.

Di perkuburan, Abang Fadhil, Abang dan aku bersama pak cikku memindahkan arwah ke liang lahad. Aku cuba untuk menangis, namun pada saat itu, air mataku telah kering. Kemudian, kami mengembus tanah dengan penuh hormat kepada jenazah dan mendoakan kesejahteraan arwah di barzakh. Arwah disemadikan berdekatan dengan kubur Tok Abid, almarhum suaminya yang meninggal pada tahun 1985. Usai talkin, kami menziarahi pusara Tok Abid dan tatkala aku merenung jauh ke kubur Tok Wan, aku melihat kelibat Tok Wan dan Tok Abid seperti yang aku lihat di foto pemberian Emak, memerhatikan kami dengan wajah tenang dan senyuman yang mendamaikan, seolah memberi isyarat mereka berdua bahagia, walau aku tahu itu hanya iluminasiku sahaja.

Malamnya kami adakan tahlil untuk Tok Wan dan Tok Abidku selama tiga hari tiga malam. Dan keesokkan harinya, aku merenung ke foto album simpanan Tok Wan, dan aku tenung gambar-gambar kecilku bersamanya. Hatiku kembali pilu, namun aku cuba untuk senyum, memikirkan saat gembira aku bersamanya. Dan aku bertekad untuk menunaikan janjiku, pulang ke Kota Bharu tiap kali cuti semester jika diizinkan oleh-Nya dan direstui oleh Abah dan Emakku, seperti yang pernah aku janjikan pada Tok Wan.

"Tok Wan... Angah nak balik. Tunggu Angah balik. Nanti Angah jenguk Tok Wan ya?"

Al-Fatihah untuk Allahyarhamah Wan Wok binti Wan Awang yang kembali ke rahmatullah pada 11 Mac 2008 bersamaan 3 Rejab 1429 Hijrah. Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat.

What Say You?

2009-02-25T10:22:00.005+08:00

I humbly ask for Bro Dayat's permission to copy his entry to my blog for your revision on the campus safety issue. I personally think that this is an issue that we need to concern on as students as we are directly involved in this matter. I try not to be bias with my opinion and I hope you will do the same too. As this relate with the road-accident that I and my housemates had.

And this is Bro Dayat's writing:

E-aduan MPP and memo to whom it may concern:

To:
NAIB YANG DI-PERTUA II
SETIAUSAHA
PENGERUSI JAWATANKUASA KEBAJIKAN
CC:
1. YANG DI-PERTUA
2. Raymondee Junior Julius (potential Sabah ADUN)

Salam.

Jalan di KK2 terutama di waktu malam.
Dengan kemalangan baru-baru ini, saya rasa MPP sudah maklum perkara ini. Salah seorang mangsa sekelas dengan wakil MPP.

Dengan lencongan yang kerap berubah tanpa warning signs dan warning light di simpang tiga.

Kehadiran spotlight yang menyilaukan juga tak begitu membantu.
Kadang-kadang terpadam seperti semalam dan subuh tadi jadi menambah risiko kemalangan.

Sebelum ini sudah ada memorandum, seingat saya di awal sem kemalangan Amirudin Fazli pelajar tahun 2.

Tafsiran saya Universiti berkompromi dengan kontraktor tentang keselamatan. Berkompromi hal keselamatan bermaksud berkompromi nyawa.

Seperti yang lalu saya cuma mengharapkan tindakan susulan berupa memo 'Kurangkan laju, berhati-hatilah dijalan raya' dari pihak atasan.

Abaikan aduan ini. Sekadar luahan perasaan di subuh hari.

Wassalam.

And this are the readers' feedbacks on the issue:

theonlyKHAI said...
harap=harap ade la tindakan lepas ni...dayat pnjgkn lg aduan ni..nyawa x boleh dganti dengan wang ringgit.

February 23, 2009 8:03 AM

Dyat said...
Alhamdulilah cepat pula kali ini.
Yang lepas 3 minggu baru respon.

Naem dah balas aduan... dan sedang diproses katanya.

February 23, 2009 8:11 AM

Sengal Ubi said...
bro dayat... nape x mention statement nih.

suatu masa dulu, teman serumah syahrul, amiruddin turut terlibat dalam kemalangan di tempat yang sama.

baru sentap sket. hehehe~

February 23, 2009 9:40 AM

Insenior said...
sedang diproses...
dalam siasatan...
dalam perbincangan...

dan bla bla bla.....

ni bkn sarkastic...tp plastic...
polyplastic...secara berantai...
war2nye lebih...tp tindakannye
seperti perjalanan siput di atas
jalan tar maut KK2...

BENGANG!!!!

February 23, 2009 10:09 AM

Dyat said...
ami,
kes mati yang kat depan canseleri pun tak ada tindakan pun... letak papan tanda slow kanak2 melintas ke buat bumper ke....

kalau nak bagi sentap kena tunggu 4-5 orang meninggal...

daus,
pasrah je la...
kira ok la ada gak respon walaupun sekadar: di dalam proses...

February 23, 2009 10:27 AM

mr scrumpy said...
btl3..byk xciden..

ntah pape ntah..

p/s:ble nk dpt novel laskar rainbow ni..

February 23, 2009 1:40 PM

Dyat said...
sabar ye wan...
ada pada seorang gadis.

nanti beliau selesai akan saya berikan pada saudara pula.

February 23, 2009 1:46 PM

Mr Final said...
bravo laa dayat... len kali.. ko tekan SEND byk kali biar muntah die nak bace bende same.. bila dah bengang.. br laa die nak gerak.. ckit2.. huhu

February 23, 2009 2:29 PM

ReAL~M said...
ni la kes2 org yg suke mengomen je kejenye..

tp x thu kesusahan org lain..

kt sini I x nk bela mpp atau menangkn u guys yg suke ikut perasaan..

tp I nk u guys pk! UMP ni MPP @ presiden2 klb punyer ke?even dato'NC pon bkn pemilik UMP. tp kite sume stakesholder UMP.masing2 ade tggjwb. prnh ke u guys pergi bersemuka dgn mne2 MPP b4 keluarkn statement ni?x kisah la MPP skrg atau yg lps2...klu prnh, its ok u keluarkn sttemnt ni.tp klu x, u better get the real info.

pelik ek?kite suke wat tindakan melulu...i just want 2 ask smethng...nape u x jd mpp mase zmn salman?klu u jd mpp tyme tu, mybe perkare ni x terjadi kot...yela u mesti fight mcm2 utk jln tu kn?xde la org accident semester ni..

ingt la sket..klu jln tu elok sekalipon,klu Allah dh tkdir die nk accident kt situ,accident jgk...
the point is...if something bad hppen,jgn cri keslhn org lain...cek la balik ape contribtion kite kpd org lain jgk...

ok??x berniat nk timbulkn kemarahan..

skdr luahan seorg senior...

February 23, 2009 6:37 PM

Anonymous said...
isu kecik je pon..dulu jln bbatu sibuk kate excident la..skrg ni pon jln ber tar pon sibuk duk komplen psl excident.. cube la bg kritikan membina sket..asik duk kondem org je..bile la ump nk maju klau camtu..

February 23, 2009 6:46 PM

Dyat said...
Waalaikumsalam Real-M.

Seperti yang saya tulis di memo dan e-aduan.

Ia bukan aduan tapi adalah luahan perasaan saya yang hina. Siapalah saya nak menentukan dosa pahala manusia.

Terima kasih kerana mengajar saya tentang takdir.

February 23, 2009 6:49 PM

Ray Jr said...
slm bro..ni aku stuju jgak la ngan tindakan ko ni..aku rse xsalah klw send memo aduan kt MPP tu..dh memang satu saluran yang betul..

pe gunanya de e-aduan klw xreti2 jgak nk salurkan maklumat yang boleh mendatangkan manfaat pda sume..

Aku rse xsalah klw nk mngadu pasal jlnraya kk2 tu..klw xpnah blaku kmlgan xpe r..ni dh byk kali dh malapetaka mnimpa dak2 ump..memang la hal kecik..tapi hal kecik klw xdiambil berat akan jdi beban gk nti..tgk je la mcm highway dpan ump tu...

dr dlu g dak2 cmplain sal bhya jlnraya tu..skurang2nye buat la zebra line ke pe ke..tp xde gk pape tindakan..last2??dah terkorabn satu nyawa..
mmg la hidup mati Tuhan yg tentukan..

tapi jge la diri kte dengan sebaiknye slagi boleh..jgn asyik salahkn takdir abang2/kakak2 ku...

Kami memilih adik2 MPP kami dengan sebaik2nye dengan harapan dapat mempertingkatkan mutu kehidupan..

Dlu lain skrang lain..ble lagi nk brubah?..jgn la bndingkan dlu dan skarang..mgkin dlu prkra2 kecik kurang diambil perhatian..xpe la..

kami xmnyalahkan org2 lame..tp skarang ni bgilah kami peluang untuk memberi sumbangan dalam mempertingkatkan lagi mutu kehidupan pelajar..

Bukan kami xnak jadi MPP, tapi kami sedar bhwa kami ni tidak lah sebaik org yg sptutnye memegang jwtan MPP..

sebab itulah kami sangat berharap agar adik2 MPP kami dpt mendengar rintihan kami..

Bukan berniat untuk complain xtentu pasal, kami hanya sekadar membantu adik2 MPP kami dengan memberitahu ape yang mereka tidak tahu@terlupa@kurang sedar...

saling mengigati rsenye tidak menjadi satu masalah..malahan suatu perkara yg harus diamalkan..wtpe nk buat e-aduan klw nk mgadu pun kne brsemuka..?.gunalah teknologi yg ade..kte plajar kejuruteraan, bukan pelajar aliran lain2..

Inilah medium bernilai yang para pelajar kurang sedari..Budaya ingat-mengingati dan bukan menuding jari..memo yang telah dihantar oleh dayat bukan lah suatu perkara yang menyalahkan mana2 pihak...

siapa lagi nk bantu MPP menyalurkan maklumat@permasalahan klw bun kite..jgn bende dh jdi teruk esok bru la mula nk menuding jari...

Sekadar meluahkan ape yg difahami..bukan berniat untuk memanaskan suhu badan...

Slm abg2/kakak2 ku sekalin..

February 23, 2009 9:57 PM

Yopiscky said...
aku pon pnah eksiden kat jalan ni..tapi bukan kat jalan belok2..kat jalan stret plak tu..

sbnarnya bagi pendapat aku la..
eksiden tu tak semua salah jalan yang teruk ke, takda lampu ke, semua tu salah pemandu/penunggang la..
dalam ump ni pon bukan semua orang ada lesen tapi dalam ump bawak moto/keta macam hero, masuk simpang suka hati, u-turn tak bagi signal, bawak laju tak ingat..

attitude beb..attitude..

February 23, 2009 11:40 PM

Sengal Ubi said...
mungkin yang tak kena boleh berkata apa sahaja. bagi saya yang kena, bukan tidak pernah saya memberi kritikan membina, dah berjuta kali namun kejadian yang sama masih berlaku juga.

memang boleh berkata itu takdir, saya tidak menyalahkan takdir tentang kemalangan saya yang dahulu. namun perkara tersebut boleh dielakkan jika ada tindakan susulan yang diambil.

tuhan tidak mengubah nasib manusia andai manusia sendiri tidak mengubah nasibnya.

bukan saya tidak bersyukur jalan itu ada. yang saya lakukan hanya meminta pihak kontraktor menyiram jalan tersebut setiap hari supaya tidak berpasir bagi mengelakkan kemalangan dan bagi keselesaan pengguna.

bukan teman serumah saya, syahrul yang meminta-minta supaya dipasang lampu jalan raya pada waktu malam jika tidak mengelakkan kemalangan dan memberi keselesaan kepada pengguna.

perkara ini mungkin remeh bagi saudara kerana saudara tidak merasa. saya hanya menuntut keselamatan kita sebagai "stakeholders" universiti dijaga, adakah itu kiranya saya seorang yang tidak bersyukur?

saudara fikirlah sendiri.

February 24, 2009 2:01 AM

sy@die said...
ak pkr dayat just bg idea tuk kebaikan bersama..kalo die xcakap benda ni mgkin kita xsedar, x dipandang serius..isu nyawa ni bukan leh letak men2..sbb ramai ag yg komplen kat blkg, cuma x di luah je d aduan 2..n kita juga kena ingat bila org komplen 2 maknanya mesti ada sesuatu yg perlu dperbetulkan..n org bukan suka2 je komplen..sesungguhnya kita kena try cari jalan penyelesaiannya, n ini adalah salah satu proses tuk jadikan arini lebih baik dr semalam..ari esok lebih baik dr arini..bukan isu kondem or x, n setiap yg berlaku 2 mmg telah ditakdirkan, tp kita juga diberi pilihan..prevent is better than cure..

ak sokong ko yat..

February 24, 2009 2:59 AM

sy@die said...
ak pkr dayat just bg idea tuk kebaikan bersama..kalo die xcakap benda ni mgkin kita xsedar, x dipandang serius..isu nyawa ni bukan leh letak men2..sbb ramai ag yg komplen kat blkg, cuma x di luah je d aduan 2..n kita juga kena ingat bila org komplen 2 maknanya mesti ada sesuatu yg perlu dperbetulkan..n org bukan suka2 je komplen..sesungguhnya kita kena try cari jalan penyelesaiannya, n ini adalah salah satu proses tuk jadikan arini lebih baik dr semalam..ari esok lebih baik dr arini..bukan isu kondem or x, n setiap yg berlaku 2 mmg telah ditakdirkan, tp kita juga diberi pilihan..prevent is better than cure..

ak sokong ko yat..

February 24, 2009 3:01 AM

Sharing is caring. said...
salam..

mm, sume dak kk2 jwb kecuali sorang saudari yg mesti dirahsiakan identitinye.
kami xde di pihak mana2, juz as a human nak bg pendapat:

to sengal ayam, eh ubi:
la, kak tatau pn amir xcdn! mm, ape kate, kalau amir ckp je kt kotraktor or pekerja tu utk letak sgnboard ke ape ke. direct je, xyh guna mpp? cdgn je, nk terima or x, it's up 2 u.

to org2 yg komplen dgn mengatakn mpp plastik la, slapstik la ape la:
korang nak bg kritikan buleh, tp JGN MENGHUKUM ORG LAEN. who r we to judge ppl n say dat the mpps r plastics? hnya Allah taala leh judge dan mnghukum.
kalo kite leh mghukum, leh gak la kami ckp korang plastik sbb pndi ckp kt cni, tp tak bertanding pn (bertndg je. tak suh jd mpp pn. tu pn dh ketaq kn? kami x ego sbb tu i say honestly: kami ketaq utk bertndg mpp). so, jgn judge ppl. jgn kate org tu, org ni. kritik je smpi bila2. juz dun judge.
so, nak benci kt kami? nk msk blog km n spam? do as u wish, u r welcomed to do so :).

~mahasiswa du'at teras kempimpinan~

p.s- bangge la, korg xcdn tym nk menuntut ilmu, JIHAD tu! jgn mati/xcdn tym nk/sdg DATING sudaaaa

February 24, 2009 12:19 PM

Zery said...
dayat, blog aku tukar URL...http://zery-g

dan skrg pun aku mls nk blogging

tunggu la bila aku rajin dan motivasi aku kembali

February 24, 2009 4:19 PM

Dyat said...
zery-sama!
okay... aku pun sudah berasa demotivated untuk berblog... hihi

ko update la, pasti aku menjadi pengunjung setianya...

February 24, 2009 7:00 PM

Insenior said...
Respon kpd ReAL~M

awk smmgnya hebat berkata2..kalo begitu rupa, x perlu lagi MPP di mana2 universiti, seperti tidak mempunyai fungsi..apatah lagi bila sesuatu isu dibangkitkan, perkara yg sama akan berlaku.

bkn stakat jmpa MPP, tp kadang melangkaui MPP pon utk pembelaan nasib student, tp masih jg respon yg sama....MPP 'merajuk' apabila ada yg terus kepada pihak bertanggungjawab, katanya perlu melalui MPP kerana MPP mewakili pelajar...

jadi, apekah simboliknya MPP jika tidak boleh mnyuarakan sesuatu isu perkara yg boleh melibatkan nyawa kami.. ni satu inisitif kami nak bg MPP kesayangan kami tau apa masalah kami..dah jumpa..dah bgtau..apa salahnya berblog, mngkin dapat respon yg 'membina' mcm ReAL~M ni kan..

nak check contribution? skang ni kami sedang memberikan idea2, meneroka minda org2 seperti ReAL~M ni lah utk bagi respon mengenai perkara atau isu utk membangunkan UMP tercinta ni.. ReAL~M sendiri seperti meluahkan, bkn memberikan idea..

cakap siang pandang2, cakap malam dengar2...

BUKAN SEMUA KAT UMP NI BAGI KOMEN NAK MENJAHANAMKAN UMP NI WAHAI ReAL~M!! Fikir2kanlah....

February 24, 2009 7:18 PM

Insenior said...
kepada ReAL~M

kami kat sini x perlukan kemanangan, kami juga x perlu encik/cik ReAL~M ni melakukan pembelaan..

kami cuma bersidang utk mendapatkan idea2, luahan2 hati yg boleh kami unjurkan ke pihak bertanggungjawab. kang kalo x melalui MPP, 'merajuk' pula bila buat tindakan sendiri...kalo bersemuka, bagai menanti hujan di musim kemarau la..

jadi, kepada encik/cik ReAL~M, apa yg saya nak sampaikan...

BUKAN SEMUA KOMEN, RESPON KEPADA ISU INI UNTUK MENJAHANAMKAN UMP. ITU YANG PASTI!! malah respon encik/cik ReAL~M yang agak seperti 'peguam bela' dan kami adalah 'tertuduh'...

Ini inisiatif kami, ini cara kami utk dptkan respon sekaligus idea2 utk memajukan UMP.

Kepada MPP, anda wakil. Terus la buat kerja kerana encik/cik ReAL~M dan kami semua masih meng'hadapan'kan anda. Jangan biarkan kami yg buat semua bnda..

Terima kasih encik/cik ReAL~M atas respon yg sangat membina dirasakan oleh ReAL~M.

February 24, 2009 7:48 PM

Insenior said...
To Sharing is caring,

bukan menghukum..apakah statement 'plastic' dan 'polyplastic' itu menghukum??

tapi sedarlah, itulah hakikatnya. kalo berada di barisan MPP, tapi suaranya tersekat di kerongkong sahaja dek kerana mulut disumbat dan disogok dengan 'birokrasi', seperti kapak yang besar tetapi tumpul sama sekali..pokok x tumbang, batang pokok yg rosak.

biarlah berada dikalangan masyarakat biasa yang tidak sibuk dengan aktiviti luaran UMP lebih daripada isu dalaman UMP, tidak sibuk dengan melawat IPTA lain daripada melawat kawasan jalanraya, kafeteria di dalam UMP ni.

bak kata saudari Sharing is caring juga ,

"mm, ape kate, kalau amir ckp je kt kotraktor or pekerja tu utk letak sgnboard ke ape ke. direct je, xyh guna mpp? cdgn je, nk terima or x, it's up 2 u."

statement mcm x perlu je MPP, semak balik apa nature sbg MPP. xpe2, sangka baik tp tidakkah statement diatas ini plastic? Fikir2kanlah..

Maaf ye..sy x pndai dlm perkara2 utk berurusan dlm UMP dan sebagainya..masih hijau dalam perkara begini..cuma meluahkan perasaan. Bukan tujuan menjatuhkan MPP atau UMP tp mngkin sbg mangkin pembuka minda, meneroka intelek...

Statement PLASTIC dan POLYPLASTIC tidak sama sekali ingin menjahanamkan UMP tapi sebaliknya. Bukalah minda, terokalah alam...

February 25, 2009 12:28 AM

Bobbywine said...
salam sme blogger dan juga "barua" MPP..

saye slaku "orang lame" kt sini nk ckp sket ttg maturity ssetgh blogger yg sesuke hati melempiaskan ayat-ayat bisa mereka melalui komen blog ni..

Pertama: Kpd Real M, Sharing is caring dan juga konco2nya.

Sekiranya anda seorang MPP sekalipun, anda tidak patut melemparkan ayat2 yang menunjukkan "kekurangmatangan" anda disini.. bagi saya, tidak perlulah anda menunjukkan rase tidak puas hati anda atas aduan seorang warga UMP ini yg ingin mendapatkan keadilan.. ini kerana, sekiranya anda berada di pihak MPP UMP, anda perlulah bersikap lebih telus dan MATANG dalam menangani kritikan dan juga komen yang diberikan kpd pihak anda.. bukannya melenting tak tentu hala sehingga sanggup berkata:

"nape u x jd mpp mase zmn salman?klu u jd mpp tyme tu, mybe perkare ni x terjadi kot"

"klu jln tu elok sekalipon,klu Allah dh tkdir die nk accident kt situ,accident jgk"

"kalo kite leh mghukum, leh gak la kami ckp korang plastik sbb pndi ckp kt cni, tp tak bertanding pn (bertndg je. tak suh jd mpp pn. tu pn dh ketaq kn?"

come'on la.. show ur maturity a bit.. sbb itula di setiap negara amat memerlukan pembangkang yg bertujuan utk menegur dan provoke kerajaan utk melaksanakn kerja dgn lebih telus.. samela situation di UMP ni..

jika sekiranya sering berlaku kemalangan, tapi tiada siapa yg boleh @ mahu @ sanggup bersuara, adalh boleh jika kita anggapkn sbg sebuah negara yg tidak mempunyai Polis atau pihak berkuasa..

so dalam konteks ini, MPP adalah salah satu pihak berkuasa yg sepatutnya membantu kami dan bukannya "membatu" sambil memarahi dan "menemplak" mereka yg ingin memberi komen dan juga aduan kpd MPP walaupun mereka sudah melalui saluran yg betul..

back to the basic, u should been proud of being the MPP.. and therefor, u need to consider all ur responsibility together with the criticism from ur ppl..

maaf kalau ayat2 saya ni menyinggung mana-mana pihak..

February 25, 2009 3:06 AM

This is how I responded.

definisi secara konseptual mpp iaitu suatu majlis yang ahlinya dipilih oleh mahasiswa melalui pilihan raya sebagai wakil mereka untuk menyalurkan pandangan, cadangan dan permasalahan kepada pentadbiran universiti secara menyeluruh.

saya kira jika ada pihak yang mempersoalkan hala tuju mpp yang bertentangan dengan pendifinisian sebenar tidak salah. itu pandangan intelektual mereka sebagai mahasiswa universiti. kita memerlukan pembangkang dalam berpolitik bukan bertujuan untuk mengondam kerajaan, sebaliknya menyampaikan pandangan mereka dari perspektif yang berbeza.

saya kira tidak perlu mempersoalkan mengapa individu itu dan individu ini tidak bertanding dalam pilihan raya mpp. saya percaya tidak menjadi mpp juga mereka boleh membuktikan kredibiliti kepimpinan mereka dalam kelab dan persatuan, dan faktor tersebut juga dalam hal ini harus diambil kira.

saya tidak nafikan kerja mpp itu tidak sesenang yang disangkakan. namun, apa yang dituntut oleh mahasiswa dalam pemerhatian saya sepanjang menuntut di sini adalah mpp itu sendiri menjalankan fungsi dan tanggungjawabnya seperti yang termaktub secara pendefinisian.

kita seharusnya berfikiran matang sebagai seorang mahasiswa. jangan beremosi ketika menyampaikan pandangan hingga bertempu kepada satu pihak semata-mata. isu keselamatan bukanlah isu yang boleh dikompromi atau di"double-standard"kan kerana perkara tersebut melibatkan nyawa.

saya memberi contoh pengguna jalan raya seharusnya menjaga keselamatan mereka atas jalan raya. namun tanggungjawab kerajaan adalah memberi peringatan dan menyediakan kemudahan dan infrastruktur yang bertumpu kepada keselamatan jalan raya, dan pihak kontraktor pula bertanggungjawab melaksanakan kerja-kerja tersebut.

kesemua pihak dalam perkara ini memainkan peranan masing-masing. apa yang kami tuntut ialah peranan tersebut dimainkan secara optimum oleh kesemua pihak yang terlibat tanpa sebarang kompromi.

bodoh jika saya katakan saya tidak kisah akan terjadinya kemalangan ke atas diri saya dan bengap untuk saya katakan saya tidak mengambil langkah keselamatan menunggang motorsikal hingga berlakunya kemalangan. saya percaya anda sendiri tidak mahu terlibat dalam kemalangan.

kesusahan yang dihadapi oleh mpp seharusnya dianggap sebagai satu amanah yang harus dipikul sebagai wakil mahasiswa. hanya Tuhan yang dapat membalas kesusahan anda di perhitungan kelak.

dan terima kasih saya tujukan secara peribadi kepada kepipimpinan mpp kini atas keterbukaan dan ketelusan mereka menerima kritikan, pandangan dan cadangan daripada mahasiswa.

sebarang maklumbalas amatlah dialu-alukan.

Well, what say you?

I Have Issues

2009-02-22T15:41:00.001+08:00

As requested by many, here I am updating my blog.

I have many issues to talk about, yet my eyes are soaring, I don't know if my brain still functioning at the moment.

Sad to say that my two brothers, Afis and Syahrul were involved in an accident last week. And it happened to be that they lost control of the motorcycle at the same place I and Affiq had our accident a month ago. So I accompanied them to the hospital alongside Kak Maya, our staff nurse and there goes my first issue.

The slow service at the hospital really pissed me off. I was not being selfish, wanting my brothers for the doctor consultation as fast as they could. I knew it will take some time as I waited two hours to see the consulted doctor for my injuries a month ago. I told them that this will be a long night for us, having to stay at the hospital. But as I browse around looking at few parents with their infants, my heart yelled. Can't they do something to fasten the consultation? These babies are sick and they are cold, can't the doctors prioritize them?

Then came a girl whose face were pale and sick, I can read her eyes. She looked exactly like my sister and coincidencely my sister were sick too few years back. Yet, she had to wait for almost two hours before she get to see the doctor and she could barely walk as she was freezing. Man, I know it's 2 a.m. and the doctors need their sleep, but it's part of your job description to help out these people when they need you, not doing any administration works instead.

Even in campus, there are four vacancies for doctors, two seats for senior doctors post and another two seats for junior doctors post, and up to date, these seats remained empty. I did talked to Kak Maya and suggested that we hire fresh-graduate doctors who are still bound with the government to fill up the posts but Kak Maya said she has voiced the idea to the management and no considerations given to date.

This is where I started to question on the students welfare again. I have many "what if..." questions that I believe if asked, will torn many hearts apart. And people will question my faith again, for not being thankful. What they don't realize is that this is part of the safety questions and no parties should compromise with this kind of issues. I'm not talking about myself here. I'm giving up my points representing those people who felt unsecured all the while with these issues.

I admire Bro Dayat for his bravery, commenting the management on issues like this. You may say whatever you like but you have to remember the fact that the power lies on the university management, not the students. If we don't voice out our concerns, then no one will stand for us.

Sorry for any grammatical errors. I'm really sleepy and I'm really eager to publish this post. Have a good day people.

Being Me

2009-02-18T21:44:00.004+08:00

It's hard not to look at you
When we bumped into one another.

It's hard not to smile at you
When I smiled as I was looking down.

It's hard not to talk to you
When I have lots to talk about.

It's hard to deny your presence
When this heart missed you much.

It's hard to say that you're no longer a friend
When the truth gave hope.

It's even hard to apologize
As I am known for my ego.

And I'm just being me.

There is a way to be good again, Amir.

Now I Wonder

2009-02-16T19:22:00.005+08:00

My stupidity look

I just gave this song a thought.

Twinkle-twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky

What do you mean by "how I wonder what you are" when you already knew that it is a star? Even a four-year-old can answer that.

A Must Watch Movie

2009-02-12T03:41:00.006+08:00

"For you... A thousand times over..."

Amir :
What are you doing here?

Hassan :
Come sit, Amir.

Amir :
You're wasting time here. The kite went the other way.

Hassan :
It will come this way.

Amir :
How do you know?

Hassan :
I know.

Amir :
But how?

Hassan :
Have I ever lied to you?

Amir :
How should I know?

Hassan :
I'd rather eat dirt.

Amir :
Would you really do that?

Hassan :
Do what?

Amir :
Eat dirt if I told you to.

Hassan :
If you asked, I would. But would you really ask me to do such thing?

Amir :
Are you crazy? You know I wouldn't.

Hassan :
I know.

If we come to sleep
we are His drowsy ones

And if we come to wake
we are in His hands

If we come to weeping,
we are His cloud full of raindrops

And if we come to laughing,
we are His lightning in that moment

If we come to anger and battle
it is the reflection of His wrath

And if we come to peace and pardon
it is the reflection of His love

Who are we in this complicated world?

Amir, the Kite Runner

Meredith Grey: Quote 3

2009-02-09T18:22:00.006+08:00

Intimacy is a four-syllabel word for here are my heart and soul. Please gripe them into the hamburger. And enjoy. It’s for desired and fear. Difficult to live with. And impossible to love without. Intimacy also comes attach to life’s three R’s. Relatives, romance and roommates. There are some things you can’t escape. And other things you just don’t wanna know. I wished there were rules about the intimacy. Some kind of a guy that can tell you when you crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming. Not only they don’t know how you fit in the map. You take it when you can get it. And keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules are virtually or something you have to define for yourself.

The Juwaidy's

2009-02-07T08:42:00.007+08:00

The Juwaidy's is a society consist of people who linked themselves with one another and claimed themselves as families. The Juwaidy's was founded on 7 February 2009 at Pandan Waterfall, Panching and was proposed by Usman and seconded by all members.

The Juwaidy's is a non-profitable society and does not support any political parties and terrorist acts. If we were to discuss any serious matters, we will do it in a fun way. And when it comes to having fun, we are all experts.

The Juwaidy's wish to have all its relatives to come out with activities that will benefit the Juwaidies directly and indirectly. At the moment, the Juwaidy's is patroned by Papa Buddy and Mama Buddy, and is administered by Abang Long, assisted by Abang Ngah.

If you wish to know more about The Juwaidy's and its alliance, click here.

List of members: (Updated 7 February 2009)
1. Papa Buddy
2. Mama Buddy
3. Abang Long
4. Abang Ngah
5. Tiqah Tuty
6. Hajar
7. Juzie
8. Yaya
9. Usman
10. Ama
11. Ain
12. Faera
13. Suhana
14. Syasya
15. Zati Freak
16. Nana
17. Ilyas
18. Whose Na
19. Abang

Goodbye Dear Friend

2009-02-03T01:22:00.007+08:00

I hate to talk about friendship and I hate to beg for a second chance in friendship. I don't intend to write this entry and yet thinking how stupid I am not to let go, this is me writing my heart out.

If you ever care to ask what went wrong, I would honestly answer, I don't know. I don't have any answer and to the end, I decided to give in. I don't know if you ever notice that what I seek in this friendship is for you to be happy, and seeing how happy you are now, I consider my job as a friend done.

But I did miss the time we spent together. And I don't want to remember it anymore because there is nothing to treasure. I admire you because you are a great woman and I respect you because you are an inspiration to everybody. You can make people fall for you easily with your charm and you are in everybody's heart. You are their shoulder to cry on and people always seek you for advice.

Your life is full of pain, losing a husband and having three youngsters to keep an eye on, your job as a single-mother is perfectly done and I really respect you for that, and I always have a great respect for you. I was never a good friend, at least never been good enough for you and my stupidity had caused you nothing but trouble.

When I review back my memories with you, I've done nothing in this friendship and now I know why it ended up this way. And here I am, saying goodbye to you. It's hard but I have to do it, I have to let it go. I want you to be happy but seeing you being happy without me in the picture is too painful. I realized that I will never be in your happiness pictures anymore and yet I wonder if I ever were.

I'm sorry if I ever uttered any harsh words to you or any of my wrongdoings pissed you off. I've learnt that the best is to let you go, and here I am, letting you go. Goodbye, my dear friend.